Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Novemgust‏

Looking out of the office window or what we can see thought the boss’s office glass door to his window wall, because we’re not allowed window seats, window seats are for the important people or the ones who kiss their as*es, I see November

I also see a bus, no 101 from what I can make out and I wish I was on it, riding away from here until the last stop, I don’t know why I didn’t look up skyward and wished I was aboard a Boeing 747 flying home or somewhere equally warm, perhaps because I knew with a November sky in August you’d be lucky to see the light let alone an airplane.

24th Day of Ramadan, I speak to my mum who claims she is sad Ramadan is almost over and that she’ll miss it and to remedy that, she’s going to fast 6 more days straight after Eid, my dad doesn’t agree and will not fast a minute beyond what is required because he is not a hypocrite apparently referring to my mum who I can hear in the background telling him to behave.

I am barely fasting properly, constantly fighting urges and thoughts of things not allowed like boys and things!    Every time I have one of these “devilish” thoughts I remember what I was told as a kid about the devil being held prisoner away from earth and humans during the month of Ramadan and cannot whisper in my ear and make me do naughty things, so I can’t blame anything on him...is that right? I want it in writing I say!

Going back to Novemgust which is really what this month should be called, it’s depressing and I need some sunshine, I also need coffee and a bout £100,000 (not very greedy) and a man, yes a boyfriend.

Only 6 more days….be brave now!

28 comments:

  1. Are we inching closer to your real name Saode?

    Loving the picture by the way ;)

    Do you like my new invention? Novemgust should be the 13th month..I know...it's bull shit, in my defence I have a massive headache and a high fever which wont go down! am delerrious and spelling things wrongly!

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  2. not quite.
    thanks, it's an ode to procrastination, with a rodent twist.
    not sure what to think of your invention (it's ok i guess) ... i get confused by seasons.
    what about september then?

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  3. I read about your month of bad weather and almost passed it by. And then I read it again.

    The inner therapist in me wants to know more.

    (In my questions, please bear in mind that I'm a 'benevolent' kafir (as opposed to kafif Istihlal (I think that's how its spelt)) and I'll probably just not know things. So be gentle with me.)

    All this 'fight[ing of] urges....boys and things...devilish thoughts as a child', this is just lovely therapist territory. I mean tangled, tortured and torn inner sanctum stuff. But beating it off (no pun intended) with a cleansing fast.

    I think the interesting part is that you acknowledge it so sincerely. I mean it is a hidden paragraph in an otherwise funny story of summer doldrums. Desire and Spirit, people write whole books on just that.

    So the fast... is the idea that it is a means to an end? e.g. cleansing allowing the spirit to dominate desire? Or is it the point? e.g. bring desire (hunger) to your consciousness so that you get motivated to dig a little deeper. (hmm.. not sure I've said that well, probably the same thing, I think if I could wave my arms at you I could express it better.)

    So a cup of coffee in the sun, a guy beside you and a 100k. That's it?? Although it sounds modest, as hedonistic desire goes, you've covered all the bases. So you're succint.
    (but FYI, for 500k you can have a life income, living off the investment. Unless you want to relocate to someplace like Laos and lower your cost base.)

    So just to recant my previous opinion about preferring to peer into your imagination with the new story, I hope you're not going to stop writing therapy sessions. Maybe I'll go back and re-read other stuff you've written.

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  4. Ok Daode: not the best invention...was bored and delerious! what did you come with lately? and why do you have a rodent on your desk?

    Formosa: you almost passed it? you mean you don't read all of my posts! AH am shocked....shocked I tell ya! :P

    Bein a Kafir or not doesn't matter, I will be gentle though ;)

    Fasting for me bring me a sense of serenity, cleanse me and I feel it working (apart from this year...something went wrong), for me it disciplines me and shows me how much will power and strengh I really have, I also feel more for the hungry and the poor, so it encourages me to give more to charity and help people, and this makes me feel closer to God.

    As for my modest demands, I agree I can be succint but I can also ramble on for pages and pages, I am a girl after all :)

    I will continue writing what you've called therapy sessions as long as they make me laugh and feel good, as for the story I am writing, I am a bit nervous about the plot taking a life of its own! the story changed on its own.....scary! I couldn't believe I could come up with such ideas!

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  5. Saode: sounds like you've a got mean case of PMS!

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  6. lol not at all. was just creating the right mood for the horror movie soundtrack ;).
    can you use it as input to write something?

    actually the rodent is a male chinchilla which belongs to my colleague. he had to be taken to the vet that day i think. this picture is a reference to your your own so-called pet hamster Golum (let's face it you don't have 1, you probably know someone who does though). as far as i know the chinchilla is doing ok.

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  7. I can't tell u If I have a rodent named Gollum or not, and ur tune is weird but Iike it!

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  8. what did you like about it? tell me more.

    it was more or less completely improvised as a response to your question.

    what about a collaboration between weird (sound) and beautiful (writing)?

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  9. U want to do a joint venture? My beautiful writing and ur wierd music I reckon it's a winner
    What I liked about it was the beat it was soft or non existant so it didn't give me a headache

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  10. yeah why not?

    there is no real beat actually, this is sometimes called drone music. the point is more on the atmospheric or moody soundscape.

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  11. I told you I liked it, very good for background music...for a killing spree! lol
    Send me another track for inspiration! do they contain subliminal messages? ;) are you brainwashing me?

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  12. §.4 : You're not the only one (sauf que moi, je me retiens pas vraiment...)

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  13. You know what ANonymous, and I admire you for saying so, nobody can judge you, we are human, we're not designed to be perfect! so if you slip or can't hold yourself...there is always next time or...whatever! but do you try to control yourself a little?

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  14. I'm talking about thoughts hein.
    On peut pas vraiment contrôler ce qui se passe dans notre tête non plus.
    I'm alone and I'm bored. Je m'occupe comme je peux haha

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  15. On ne peut pas controler ce qui passe par la tete, mais on peut arette d y pensser, j'ai essayer ca marche :)

    Mais c'est vrais on s'occupe comme on peut lol

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  16. Get yourself a PS 3...that would block you from thinking!
    DZCheikh

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  17. from so many hours playing Tomb Raider and then it got consiscated by my nephew! oh well

    Now I read...

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  18. ... Or not ? :-)

    Sur ce, m'en vais lire kech soura (on se rattrape comme on peut aussi, genre khademtouhali haha)

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  19. hahaha yeah on fait se qu'on peut! moi je vais faire mon menage would you believe it!

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  20. Je l'ai fait la semaine dernière et j'y ai passé la journée et j'ai pas l'intention de me bouger aujourd'hui.

    S.

    (Je signe pour qu'il n'y ait pas de confusion :))

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  21. Signi Signi....you need a golden pen!
    DZChick efrilna had la confusion of anonymous comments...use colours anonymously anonymous!
    DZCheikh!

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  22. Elle peut bloquer aussi les com's Anonymous ?

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  23. this 'track' was a bit of an impromptu improvisation so i would need to do another one to send to you (maybe a longer extended one)
    me, brainwash you?! to what end? and would it work? or did it work?

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  24. @ Saode: of course it wont work but do send me the tune, it'll be interesting to see/read what comes out of it...let's experiment. night

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  25. DZ-Chick I do like your creation of Novemgus but be weary as we might expect you to come up with similar word formations for uncorresponding months and weather conditions.

    Your mother is funny but your father is funnier, ha ha. I always marvel at the Muslims that do the extra few days after Eid which are apparently very rewarding to do.

    'I am barely fasting properly, constantly fighting urges and thoughts of things not allowed like boys and things!' LOL what thoughts might that be? Aren't boys allowed in Islam, I was under the impression they dominated the religion?! As for 'things' well what a broad term.....I guess the broader the better! ;-)

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