Monday, 10 July 2017

Out and out









I managed about three days before the red rivers of Lucifer opened up and I had a good excuse as any to take an early breather. Once the 5 customary days (stretched to 6 on the count of one red spot on my knickers) were over I started psyching myself up for the arduous observance of Ramadan but there was no will power to be found, I looked again and rummaged in the abyss of my soul (very deep my soul) to find some willpower but all I found was a tumble weed (insert picture here)! Moving in the desert winds of my soul (insert dramatic music here)! 
Trying to understand the why is the real conundrum, I thought of a few answers; 

  • I have been debating my faith for a few years now and I struggled with it as any of my readers would know, I guess you could say it was only a matter of time before the chasm widened and the jig was up. 
  • The prevailing atmosphere doesn't help. Islam has such a bad rep nowadays that I thought myself a weakling who got put off by a bunch of faithless terrorists disseminating dogma and terror and calling it the will of God. I am made of sterner stuff that this. So theory dismissed. 
  • Being alone during such times as Ramadan can be daunting and discouraging when it's a time to be reunited with loved ones, family and friends. Mayhaps... 
  • Safety in numbers: a good theory as any to use when linking your argument to the power of the many, the many who have lapsed, gave in or never had it (faith that is).
The fact of the matter is I don't know if my faith will ever be restored, if I will horribly regret this one day or if it's gone forever and I shall become the Infidel (roll eyes 👀 ) ...what I know is that I am an adult of mostly sound mind who consciously and publicly decided not to observe one of the 5 pillars of Islam and argues simply this feels ok and also it's none of anyone's business.

Today (well when I wrote this) , Eid is upon us and as ever, I am celebrating it with family and my loved ones and I love it. The way I see it? It's not religious it's cultural (preachers, go nuts now)  :D 

A belated Happy and blessed Eid to all 

Monday, 23 January 2017

I call bullshit!



I always had high and renewed hopes for the New Year, I always excitedly jot down a list of things I wanted to achieve, countries I dreamed of visiting, kilos I desperately needed to lose and I go about my year working on my objectives with such optimism you’d think I was American. But this year feels different, something is definitely missing…I didn’t even make a list! I am consumed by something else, less superficial than a few kilos or some Hollywood-inspired objective.
First day back in London after the long Xmas break, I already know I don’t want to be here and it wasn’t the lack of sunshine or morning coffee at home or the familiar safety of my parents’ house. This time it’s different and I can feel a chasm opening and slowly widening.
As I proceed with my usual work commute, the sky is a dull grey unpunctuated by anything, I can’t see where it begins and where it ends, people are so quiet on the train you’d think they’re on their way to their executions, the only sounds coming through my headphones are coughs, a lot of coughing!
In the office, I sit at my desk and as I look around, I see my colleagues milling around the floor, repeatedly wishing each other Happy new year, nobody knows when it’s appropriate to stop, the media hadn’t spoken on the subject.  They sit in front of their screens, they run to meetings, they hold papers in their hands and discuss business, I feel part of the engrenage and simultaneously out of place, something nags at my brain, the feeling of being trapped is strong, like a lab rat, I think of the long hours we’re expected to work for nothing in return but the boss’s own pleasing, of the work-week that seems to be designed subtly enough to send us home lobotomised for the evenings and comatose for the weekend.
Resistance is futile, I am part of this system, this modern society that transformed us into new-world slaves, I am a slave, an agent of the system, a slave to the matrix.
The feeling is stronger in the last few years, all I see is flaws, this modern society model we live in is flawed, it works only to enrich the ruling elites and enslave the masses, full of social conventions put in place to control us, transforming us into sheep. Once you wake up and see it, you can never go back to “normal”....either that....
 
…or I am getting my period soon!

Friday, 23 September 2016

Space-filler, time-killer....




Life has been good lately (please take a moment to look into the above picture for 2 seconds), hence the lack of blogs posts. You’ll forgive me I am sure.
 
A little recap is due I think:
 
Work:  Going good, typically getting in when it’s time for coffee, lunch mostly al-desco, gym when ALL my muscles don’t hurt at the same time, this age thing is really inconvenient.
On the plus side, I get a lot of stationery here so that’s a win.
 
Love life: No update for you on this front I am afraid but my soulmate is out there, pushing a door that says pull, I just know it, so until such times as sub-zero temperatures in hell, I shall hold on to my virginity sanity – thank you very much.
 
My period – still flowing like the red river of doom with cramps that could push a baby elephant out, and that’s ok, because it means I am healthy and young and it means I can always complain about period pain and make people uncomfortable until such times they get over themselves.
 
My hair – still curly – I refuse to straighten it to look more corporate or more European or mainstream. It’s not a statement, it’s not rebellious and it’s not crazy, it’s just my hair.
 

It’s all about me.
 
Hasta!

Friday, 10 June 2016

A summer to remember



Many people don’t have a lot of memories of previous Ramadans, except for the distinct and unhappy recollection of hunger, thirst and the long hours of deprivation.  But nothing else is noteworthy, nothing else seems to happen in this month, especially when you (not me) spend it horizontally for over ten hours a day!

Last year, was a different story, last Ramadan was a memorable one (not in a good way), last Ramadan Israel was repeatedly bombing Gaza, and as the war in Syria raged on, a gunman opened fire on tourists on a beach in Tunisia (the choice of events and countries is not calculated), the whole world went through the summer in a state of shock, anger, protest and gloom.

This year a lesser disaster is looming, but a disaster nonetheless, England will most probably brexit, during Ramadan…bringing a wave of changes to the whole world and I suspect a lasting memory!

As I cast my vote today (guess which way I voted) I couldn’t help but think of all the things trivial and important that will happen, all the changes, I think of how bored Nigel Farage would be, how it’ll transpire that Boris Johnson is actually Donald Trump’s long lost sibling, probably a brother from another mother, I think about how rude the French are going to be to us when we go on holiday to France (by us I mean Brits not Algerians – they already surpassed their tolerance towards us Algerians), croissants and baguettes will be sold on the black market, Cheese smugglers will rival human smugglers and so many more...I can't bear to think about it!

But I strain to think of how this will affect Algerians and I find nothing! Nothing affects Algerians really, we will survive whatever tidal wave this Brexit will bring on, for now it’s none of our concern though, our imminent concern is the source of the next chorba* and bourek* and where we’ll spend the summer drinking and lazing in the sun after all this observance! Spain or Cuba? whichever doesn't require a visa ...

For now though, up to day 5 and on a more egocentric level...

Energy levels – stable, Sleeping patterns: all over the place, Food ingested: not enough, Water drunk: too much, Days to next period: too many


Dz-chick….for now it’s about breakfast not Brexit

-------------------------- 

*Ramadan meal

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Ramadindong D3


Might resume my Ramadan diaries, mostly because time slows down a lot when you’re not eating.

I understand now why they feed us so much on long haul flights, what else are you going to do!

Ramadan in the office is business as usual; incessant yawning and looking at the clock, always accompanied by the ever annoying question “what, not even water?” of course we covered all of these questions in the many Ramadan posts from previous years so I am not going to get into this again but my answer tends to be the same “nope, just air”.

Of course when you’re observing Ramadan, you get extra horny, extra bad thoughts and you can’t even blame it on the devil because presumably he’s kept at bay during this holy month. So you live with the fact you might be a pervert, who gets pervier when hungry. Almost like Hunger and Thirst weren't enough..

Anywho, if I have the inspiration, I will write something actually meaningful tomorrow
Dz-Chick ...so far, not digging it

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