Friday, 1 May 2020

Twenty Twenty!


Confinement is bad enough, now Ramadindong has come too!! That's a lot to take on, I wonder how the challenged in the field of multitasking are doing! Like someone once said to me, how can women be so good at multitasking if they cant have sex and a headache I
At the same time! I know am struggling.

Trying to find ways to occupy myself whilst pretending also to work from home, send a couple of emails a day to show "face" and gossip with colleagues over whose gonna get chopped! Last one in, first one out it seems. Also confinement seems to bring out the worst in people, all my colleagues seem to have transformed into knobheads! Gawd I hate 2020! It's funny because twenty twenty usually means good things, like great vision and such!

What else can I do to occupy my time, I mean no amount of quarantine will make me desperate enough to organise my knicker drawer or any other drawer for that matter, so maybe I'll just eat. Yes as a matter of fact. I shall do just that. 

Eat my way through this...

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

Confinement diary - Day Fuck knows!


It's gotten so weird out, people snitching on each other to become "good citizens", a dictator sprung up in Hungary, Trump...well continues being Trump, at least he's consistent I guess. It's like the prelude to some far fetched dystopian plot or one of those nightmares that every time you wake up from, you go right back into it once you fall asleep again!

The other day there was a couple walking behind me and they just started to speed up so I started to speed up, you know to maintain the 2m distance...it got ridiculous, we ended up having a chase.

I miss normal life, I miss laughing out loud throwing my head back hysterically, I miss spitting out my drink in laughter, I miss talking about other things besides the contents of a supermarket shelf and the daily statistic on the number of dead. I miss getting dressed up and going out on a date! Simple pleasures of life, I miss life.

What the fuck is going on! Bring back life!

Thursday, 16 April 2020

Confinement Diary - Day X


I want to be somewhere on a warm sunny sandy beach, not too far away...somewhere close. It seems the comfort of home is too easy to get used to and so difficult to break from, I don't feel ready to part yet, I've grown used to my routine, much like inmates...refusing to leave prison at the end of a long sentence served.

We are all inmates, settling into our routines and learning to live in confined spaces and reduced freedoms, I wonder what will become of us all. Will we even go back to the office, will we ever regain our freedom and liberties, will there be long queues at restaurant bathrooms for punters to wash their hands, will there be international travel again? so many questions...

I wish I had George Orwell's foresight or Margaret Atwood's imagination, at least I could capitalise on this mayhem and produce a dystopian plot worthy of our crazy times! So frustrating!

I am a frustrated writer I've come to realise and my imagination refuses to play ball! What a pity...
Oh well back to Netflix.

Stay safe...Stay sane!

Wednesday, 15 April 2020

Confinement Diary - Day £$@£$$$%%%

That's like me...but sans ring! 

Was very much amused to read about the man arrested last week carrying about 60K worth of cocaine, he told the police he's a key worker....a sort of side-road pharmacist if you will.

I wish I was a key worker, I was deemed too weak to be a key worker, on account of my case of cancer! This cancer keeps getting in the way of my dreams.

So instead, I spend my days in front of a laptop pretending to work by responding YES and Kind regards, to 3 out of 70 emails a days.

I get changed every morning, I put on yoga leggings until about midnight then my pyjamas until noon the next day. I genuinely aim to brush my teeth as early as possible otherwise they're done for...

My hair gets brushed basically when I wash it, and if you know anything about women's hair, you know the frequency I mean here.

Think I can also feel my hymen growing back...which is very unsettling news indeed, I ain't going through that shit again! But to be fair, seeing as I am going to come out of this looking like a cave woman, I think we're all safe here.

Hoping to bring you glad tidings next time....until then, Stay safe!


Wednesday, 8 April 2020

Confinement Diary - Day 14

Paradox!

So I reach my own 14 day confinement and show no symptoms...I wonder if I am in the clear or if I am a carrier...silent or with delayed onset...I feel like Shrodinger's cat...I both have and have not got the virus...

I am both bored and busy,
I am both scared and carefree,
I am both a critical worker (yes Finance) and useless,
I am both hating and loving confinement,
I both go out and stay in...depending on who asks!
I am both confined alone and not confined alone....depending on who can see in!

What are you?

Stay safe...

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