There’s a strange feeling around, like the silence before the storm or perhaps the silence when you’re in the eye of the storm, you can feel the general uneasiness of the conscious people, those who know the world is broken.
I have to keep going, have to keep fasting, keep working, keep living deafened by the ticking of my biological clock and the shootings of innocents, I continue planning my future holidays steering clear of certain areas of the world where as a woman I am not really tolerated and realise soon there’ll be nowhere safe, I continue planning my life as if there were no Wars, no double standards or apartheid occupation in the 21st century and have to keep smiling and be happy.
Feels like a full time job trying to keep as a normal life as possible, to feel the need to adjust certain aspects of your life so that your own friends can see you as the same person you always were and not this Muslim potential explosive person who they look at with bewilderment and suspicion.
Sick of this topic, so let’s just change the tune!
Day 13 of Ramadan today, only another 16 to go! Piece of cake!! I’ll just spend my time reading the news through the main source: Facebook, read irritating comments and dumb opinions that offer nothing but agreement with the first opinion for lack of a better one like “No comment” and “totally agree” and “you said it all” and “ha ha ha”.
Watch funny videos posted every 3 seconds on various topics, failed hidden Cameras and Muslims trying too hard to show the good side of Islam by overdoing charity and trying tirelessly to mend their tarnished image!
I stalk some old friends on facebook; I find therapeutic the routine they give me, I wait for their 5 daily selfies, posted generally in the changing room of a Luxury shop, at a restaurant, in a bikini at the beach, in the car carefully positioned to show off the horse-logo and of course in bed because they wake-up looking impossibly fresh and gorgeous. They look good; they’re rich and have more money tide-up in promiscuity futures, they lead extravagant lives full of luxuries, careless fun and beauty, free of Don’ts and Harams (sins)! They make me loathe my self-destructive thoughts, religious-guilt and deep existential questioning; I am jealous of how careless they seem so I find it easier to question what they would be like if they looked on the outside as they did on the inside. Jealous much!?
Online shopping also proved a good time-killer; I don’t always press on the Purchase button but I do so enjoy to collect items in the basket and drool over them before my anti-consumerist broke self takes over, I shake off the shopping urge and resume actual work which I hate passionately and carefully.
Of course blogging and whining also helps!
Dz-Chick…pressed on purchase eventually!
what kind of items do you collect in the basket ? I'm curious..ReplyDelete
Uncle David FANKS!ReplyDelete
Homo Erectus (the Boumati Souk's Booty Stalker) lingerie, bikinis that will never fit, over-priced hand bags, little sexy dresses that make the expression "Mutton dressed as lamb" so very relevant....I also look at holiday!!! far away adventurous getaways ....you know shit like that!
lol Booty Stalking at the Boumat Souk huh! I am curious....tell me more!
Why do we always compare how we feel about ourselves, and our inner-thoughts to what people display on the outside? I bet that if someone were to look at your outer-self, they would think you were a care-free shopaholic (reference: DZ chick). The care-free people are not always as care-free as we think.ReplyDelete
Having said that, if we wish to lead a truly care-free life, we have to give up two things: morality and intelligence.
Yes well said Loundja but I do think some people have mastered the art of denial!ReplyDelete
To be happy and lead the carefree life, to be able to continue living completely unaffected by what's going on in the World is truly amazing to me! not in the good "amazing" way though. it surprises me, pisses me off even.
As for me, trust me I do not look like a shopaholic or a fashion victim...I have a brain ...which also incidentally help with the colour matching etc...having said that I do think Pink and purple go together.
What an arousing list of items ! Fatartina (not me of course) ! By curiosity I googled "Mutton dressed as lamb" on google images.. damn.. terrifying...ReplyDelete
haha @ Fatartina...let me tell you a related story!ReplyDelete
Last night on the train (the Tube) I sat opposite a guy who I could tell was Muslim, he looked at me first with no obvious reaction, then his eyes went to the necklace I was wearing a Khamssa and he realised I must be Muslim or something. His face turned so ugly so suddenly!! he looked at me with disgust I could tell he was judging me because of my outfit (I know I was a bit too sexy for Ramadan - no joke) then he huffed and puffed, got up and changed seats! Then the guy who he was sitting next to, started smelling his armpits checking he didn’t just repel a fellow passenger! I said don’t worry that was for my benefit.
I felt the lowest of the low! thank you stranger for making me feel guilty.
There is no reason you feeling guilty dz chick, we all have the right to exist and live our life as we feel it is the best for us (not for others), as far as we are respectful.Delete
By the way how could be sure the guy sitting opposite was "cleaner" as far as religion is concerned. What a world!!!
wow what a brutal uneducated asshole ! even in England they behave like they own the place ! I've heard many similar stories from algerian girls (friends, family, etc.) who live in France... some algerian or north-african guys think they have the right to demonstrate authority on them just because these girls are algerians or muslims or whatever.. and no no no you don't have to feel guilty.. that's a moral trap.. you should not feel anything but contempt for these kind of sick minds.. a so strong believer who can't stand sitting in front of an attractive woman ! what a clown !ReplyDelete
I heard similar stories yes! and yes you're right, it's totally a moral trap and I am not going to feel guilty because he can't handle his own urges or whatever was going through him! Clown indeed.ReplyDelete