Tuesday, 22 November 2011

The Bag Issue!

To overcome all urges of suicide by paper-cut, or the existential crisis I seem to be suffering, I thought a girly (annoying) post to raise the moral (mine).

Gentlemen I suggest you look away now….

I am going to discuss handbags, yes, you read correctly, Handbags, I want to talk about my damn handbag because I am…..well…it’s worth it! (damn you L’Oréal)

They say once you go designer, you can never go back, and it’s absolutely true, so the ladies out there who are still happy with their H&Ms and Zaras, I advice you never go down the designer path, because you will be experiencing substance abuse issues and within 3 years, you will be staring at your house deposit, sitting in your wardrobe stacked in cotton pouches like some treasure saved for the cold days, as it were!  And one day you will have no job and no money and you can’t sell your bags because you love them so much so you keep them with you and carry them around and that’s how you become the ‘Bag Lady’.

Lousy attempt at raising the moral above, I admit, so I am going to try again…

The content of a lady’s bag says a lot about her personality they say!
Today, my bag is Red, designer naturally (show off, yes but name dropper, NO), has 4 pockets, all full of treasures, content is as follows (gentlemen I told you to stay away):

Perfume, 2 phones (I am well dodgy), makiyage (that’s makeup for you), umbrella, Book, elastic bands, pair of spare (clean) knickers, tangled headphones, lip balm, hand cream, cleanex, purse (also red but not on purpose), 2 sets of keys (I am the janitor), oyster card, work security pass, gloves, ballet pumps (that’s flat shoes for you), a bottle of mineral water and a box of paracetamol (you never know when I'll need to fake a headache), and finally a pen which I stole from work.

So there, what my bag says about me is that I am a girl! Nothing more, nothing less.  Don’t attempt to analyse me through my bag’s contents because it’s not relevant, I am crazy and my bag doesn’t reflect that, I am a control freak and a little OCD, the bag still doesn’t reflect that and neither does this blog, so …I told you so stay away!

So why women carry handbags, across the chests, on their shoulders or their arms, in blue, red or black is not relevant here, of course we know the colour, shape and design say a lot about our personalities, but the real reason for the bag is that it represents our safety net, we carry a little piece of our lives and our homes with us, we feel naked without it and that’s how the bag lady came to exist, she lost everything but could never part from her beloved bag(s).

Dz-Chick….if she were a bag, she’d be a Mulberry Picadilly!


  1. I could put my paw inside your handbag without the slightest apprehension. A handbag without a small furry animal inside it is rather tame.

  2. In your bag there's no :
    -chewing-gum or chocolate
    -a knife or a gun
    -drugs (cigarettes, cocaine, pot, chemma...)
    Is it serious ?

  3. Thanks Mimi - I do too...

    @Gorilla Bananas: it's a week day type of bag, come ask me again on the weekend ...you might get your paws chopped off! ;)

    @homo Erectus: well it's not very sunny here to encumber myself with sunglasses, I have 2 smart phones so no need for the notebook (though i have one...also stolen from work), I don't chew gum, chocolate would not have the time to melt with me, I am a pacifist I don't carry weapons only my personality and the stuff I promised Gorilla Banana above! as for the drugs, well what can i say, I don't have an addictive personality ;)

    What's in your bag? oh sorry you're dudes, no man bags?

  4. Well DZ-chick, you're supposed to know what men carry in their "bags" : testosterone maybe? LOL!

  5. If the male of our species had been intended to carry 'man-bags', then why are we born with pockets? HUH?

    And not just trouser pockets. The single most important evolutionary advantage that men have over women is the shirt breast pocket. Women simply can't have one of those, can they? (Well, imagine what would happen if something got lost in a woman's shirt pocket and she had to go searching for it? (let me hold that thought for a moment))

    Nope, handbags don't work. Its the reason why men are out on the savannah doing the hunting - pockets!

    And if we ever have the need for extra mobile storage space, well then we use a toolbox.

  6. Definitely intended for the laydees as no one mentioned the knickers :)

  7. It's funny that when I ask the men to look away. Only men seem to comment :) reverse psychology works!

    Some men carry man bags! And they have all sort in there! I have to say I'd prefer my man sans bag!

    Formosa: good point about the breast pocket but we have bras and sometimes when ... At the gym you have to use your bra to stuff your key or inhaler or something!

    What pockets are you born with Formosa? If you're referring to a certain 'sack' I don't think you can hold much on there you know!! :)

    @Maleko: ca fait longtemps! Yeah no one mentioned the knickers or my amazing own logo design as a tribute to the big issue!

  8. You know what the problem with handbags is, Miss DZ-Chick? Whatever nasty little critter you put inside them, they can always be snatched. If you ever visited my jungle neighbourhood, your red designer number wouldn't last five minutes before some thieving monkey had hoisted it into the tree tops. That's why I would insist that you left your handbag at the safari guesthouse and emptied its contents into a hip-pack before visiting my hairy tribe. And don't worry about a hip-pack making your bum look big. We like big bums in my neck of the jungle!

  9. I never worry if my bum looks big, because it is!
    Those monkeys would be in such awe of my derriere they would forget the red bag and so would you!

  10. J'ai pas bien compris la culotte dans le sac....on dit souvent etre prise la main dans le sac - et pas la main dans la culotte. Mais alors la culotte dans le sac, what the fuck. DZ - Chick, va falloir que tu m'expliques.

  11. MTF: every girl should carry a spare pair of knickers in her bag lol

  12. Je n'ose pas demander pourquoi.

  13. Ben moi je vais à la gym :) u dirty minded!

  14. CQFD.
    Montre moi ce que tu as dans ton sac et je te dirai qui tu es. Si tu savais ce qu'il y a dans le mien. Suis tellement contente de ne pas aller a la Gym....tout ca pour ca?

  15. MTF: tout ca pour ca! Uh no hang on, it's the bag issue not the knickers issue!

  16. A mon avis, il doit y avoir correlation

  17. Perhaps! But you're not getting it out of me :)

  18. J'aime aussi les sacs...et les chaussures et certainement pas les sacs assortis aux chaussures, essentiellement de jeunes designers. Dans mon sac il y a: The Guardian datant de samedi dernier froisse et que je n'ai pas lu, , 4 briquets, des clopes, mon iPod, ma oyster card, mes clefs, mon portefeuille, et des tampax.

  19. You have a gorgeous mind and a kind soul...beautiful women.

  20. OK..I never blush but here...am RED! Thank you Anonymous!

  21. hi to all www.dz-chick.comers this is my first post and thought i would say a big hello to yous -
    thank yous speak soon
    garry m

  22. Hello Garry M, Welcome to dz-chick.com
    Look forward to your next post then! DZC

  23. very funny and so true - love the logo!! how many times do you change bags a week?

  24. Finally somebody complimented my logo :) cheers

    I change bags according to the outfit, so i could be 3 or 5 times a week :P - you're obv a girl?

  25. haha! yes woz just asking as thats my biggest nightmare. I always forget something in the process!

  26. I always wondered why women carried so much crap in their bags. It's so uncomfortable and inconvenient. For me, just a skinny wallet, a phone and keys. I always refuse to carry ladies bag when they ask me to hold on to it for few seconds; you chose to take that bag, you carry it!

  27. Yeah and men don't understand phrases like: I left it in the other bag! :)

    @Maricani that's not very gentleman -like is it?
    30 November 2011 11:53

  28. it is also not logical to take so much stuff with you in a bag for a 2 hrs outing, come on! I actually think it and say it, but dont do it...

  29. Maricani Who said anything about a two hour outing! Women carry all of this (above) and more if h include the gym gear and a change of clothes sometimes... Weekday outings are 12 + hours long

    So you do hold your lady friends bag while she puts on her coat (wait why aren't you helping with the coat??) ...


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