Thursday, 28 July 2011

I do...do I?

God has created divorce for a reason, it’s not his favourite creation but he created it anyway, knowing there is a need, a place and a time for it.

Isn’t marriage supposed to be for life? I grew up in a tightly close family, parents are still in love with each other despite their attempts at hiding it, she calls him Azza for Abdel Aziz and he calls her ….can’t tell you! They don’t fight, they just stop speaking to each other for a couple of days and then we all know how they’re going to make up! YUK
So my idea of marriage is what my parents have, closeness, love, laughter and family but that perfect image is distorted when witnessing different examples of marriages out there, the unhappy couple, the cheating husband, the cheating wife, the runaway wife caught by La gendarmerie and brought back home, the abandoning husband and the open relationship, none of which inspire or instil me to start one of my own.
I have been thinking about this a while now, and even though I know that being in a relationship is better than not being in one for many reasons, but being single has also its advantages and I grew used to it, let’s compare shall we?

 When you’re single:
- Crazy things happen to you – which makes life interesting and blog more consistent
- You can take snap decisions and not have to confer with other half
- You don’t have to worry about shaving, waxing etc with military precision for microscopic check ups
- You sleep in your own bed and if you don’t want to change the sheets, no one cares
- You don’t have to persuade anybody about any travel destination being too far or too exotic or not
- Ranting with girlfriends or on blog about being single is fun
- You always talk in a singular "I, Me"
- I think I’ve run out….damn I thought it was a going to be a long list!

When you’re in a relationship
- Crazy things don’t happen to you – that is pretty boring...I hear! probably not though
- You will never be cold in bed again
- Hugs and cuddles on demand
- Difficult decisions are shared, which takes the pressure off
- You can have couples holidays and dinner parties (can’t believe I am saying this, I hate couples holidays and dinner parties)
- ran out...a little help here??

Hmmm my mind is not made up, I want both, but I can’t have both, god has created marriage and divorce but not open relationships, but I don’t believe in divorce or open relationships, so I either go back to being single or I get married for better and for worse.

A torn Dz-Chick

12 comments:

  1. I see your dilemma dz-chick and I understand it completely. I personally love being married to my guy as he is totally my soulmate and I cannot imagine not sharing my everything with him.... Single life was VERY fun don't get me wrong but this is even better....

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  2. @Daode: No rush...just how life goes! INIT

    @Anonymous: I am willing to try it, when I am SURE, And IF I don't drive him away like I always do!!

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  3. very interesting. I grew up in a home without a father so I really do not know what a warm family is. So, I would like to meet someone special and share my everything with him, it is kind of building your own empire in a perfect way that you dreamed of just because you have not seen it when you were a child. I guess, it depends on childhood and experiences people share with you.

    I like being in a relationship, just because I feel more secure, someone who checks on you sweetly, hugs and cuddles like you said.

    Single life is fun but sometimes, when I feel a bit lost and I say to myself, so what is next, and I am so scared to just go on a solo dinner or to theater on my own or even a short break...i know it sounds very girlish and cheesy but it is the truth...but on a positive note, I am enjoying it to the best


    I pray you make the right decision, choosing Mr right and romantic is itself a dielemma lool..

    kesh masrouf nta3 ramdan :D?

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  4. Haniya: Are you in London? if yes then ok for mesfouf and tea :)

    I hope you find your ideal dream man who will be everything to you and more.

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  5. I am close to London, walah chrit kolchi nta3 mesfouf..tho i ate most of zbib, i have to buy some more :$..i can send you some and you can come wa ndiro fiha ka3da :D...

    GMA, ATO et Nedjma rakom ma3rodin :D...xxxx

    Inchalah, one day :) re dream man

    xx

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  6. EEEHHHH Masfouf ou atay, Count me in! ou ana n'dir essamssa m'3essla, wella des cigares d'amandes, wella n,koulek, aya Galb elouz ga3!
    Yammmm!!!!!

    Nedjma

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  7. Being single has never been my cup of tea (neither green or mint...). Maybe I am very lucky but in a relationship:
    -crazy things do happen to you (though I have NOT won the Euromillion lottery yet); .
    -bed can be cold to but it's faster to make it warmer;
    -you do not need to share a flat;
    -whoever is the earliest at home takes care of the diner and when the other one arrives, it's ready and/or the glass of wine is already poured in;
    -you can share the cost of a holiday room and therefore spend more on whatever stupid things you would like to buy and/or do;
    -you always have a buddy to go to the Orange Wednesday cinema tickets (2 for 1);
    -you broaden your friend sphere with her friends it is like Facebook squared and meet people you would not have met otherwise...

    In other words, you'll see what I mean: keep looking (HE must be there, somewhere). Because actually that's the highest con of being single: looking for him/her is terribly exhausting.

    BB

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  8. Hello BB, how right you are :)
    Thanks and look forward to your next contribution!!

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  9. DZ-Chick you were highly fortunate to grow up in such a loving, stable family and your yearning to ensure that the man you do marry is here to stay until death do you apart is totally intelligible.

    My parents divorced when I was 3 and I have never seen them talking to each other, hardly a case to emulate but my expectations are as high as yours.

    Our circumstances differ though as I have children therefore I can find in them what I lack in a romantic relationship i.e. hugs and cuddles on demand and I do not feel lonely.

    Here is my pros and cons for relationships as I have been happily single for 12 years, it's fair to expect the cons to outnumber the pros.....

    PROS:
    1- Pay all the bills hence my salary is actually my disposible income
    2-Sex (although we do have toys nowadays that can't beat the real McCoy)
    3- Romance, where else can you get it from?!
    4- I am struggling here so let's move on to the cons.....then again let's not forget LOVE, I almost forgot ;-)

    CONS
    1- No compromising whatsoever. Algerians parents are extremely controlling as it goes so my adult life belongs to me and I shall not consult anyone for decisions that do concern me unless I choose to
    2- Sharing my bed, I love my space and sleep very lightly hence individuals that snore are not welcome en mi cama and as we know snoring tends to be a universal activity within the male population
    3- Boredom settles in after a while
    4- Sharing my private space day in and day out *cringe*
    5- THIS IS IT

    Well it's a close call DZ-Chick but what's certain is that it's preferable to be single than in an unhappy relationship and if we do lower our standards we will end up feeling utterly cheated by life and crestfallen.

    Il vaut mieux etre seule que mal accompagnee ma chere DZ-Banksy.

    PS: I will always talk in a singular 'I', again 'we' is for ma and my ego

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