Friday 8 July 2011

Envy is a terrible thing!

Karma is an amazing thing, good Karma even better, despite my years of being cynical, I never stopped being an optimist, a closeted one nonetheless, I always believed in Love, always believed I would meet my match and be happy as the opposite was simply unthinkable.

It is time dz-chick moved on, it’s time she felt what it’s like to be happy and loved.
However, people don’t seem to be happy for her, everywhere she gets questioned in such a fashion it perplexes her, scrutinised as though a miracle occurred and they (so called friends) need to probe further to make sure they’re not hallucinating, some start to cry, worth a mention that these tears were not tears of joy, but tears of sadness, because she left her singleton friends behind in their singledom.

Your friends with the exception of a few, don’t want to see you moved on and happy, because they’ll have no more excuses, they’ll have to start looking at their own lives and relationships and acknowledge their own dilemmas instead of occupying themselves with yours as a distraction and a feel-better factor and your sadness and dilemmas are used as leverage, a mean of control.

In all the years you have been single, how many friends have actually tried to introduce you to someone you might like? Or set up with a friend or someone they might know? And if they did, was it not such an appalling effort it had no choice but to fail and add to your gloom?
Truth I found is that it’s not in their best interest to do so; our friends prefer to keep us to themselves, their clowns, their entertainment, the singletons whose diaries are always open and encumbered by must-do’s, “We’re going” and “we’ve plans”, The single friend is the distraction from their own lives and problems;
And declaring “dz-chick changed her status from single to in a relationship” did not win me many votes, how amusing to see how people react to their friends’ happiness, I never thought people would actually deny me the happiness I so strived for and so deserve.

This strange behaviour, call it, envy, jealousy, selfishness or just indifference, makes you question the very foundation of your friendships, why are we even friends? How did we become friends? Will we go on being friends? Will you ever be happy for me as much as I was happy for you?

Which makes me now understand why people only share bad news with us and withhold the good news to themselves, they obviously experienced this and have learnt to keep things to themselves, just like expectant women who won’t announce their pregnancy until three months have passed and bump can hide no longer;
Is it fear of people’s envy? Jealousy? Evil eye? or simply that we secretly know some of our friendships are flawed and must be kept at bay.

Dz-chick....does not care for the colour Green.


  1. I loved that article hun...its so honest I hear exactly what you're saying.
    Human nature is not always kind but true friends should be truly happy for you xxx

  2. Ah the foul weather friend!! Well I am happy for you and will come and spray you with glitter soon.

    Ps any soupcon of caution could be poorly expressed concern? Not always as people are generally self interested, but sometimes. X

  3. I know you're both happy for me :) since you are true friends.

    lol @ Glitter

  4. Honey, those who love you, care for you, and support you through good and bad should be only the ones that you should worry about. Miserable people will always find a way to bring happiness down to the gutter. Forget about the insignificant others who are jealous, and are only wallowing in their own misery. Try to push this B-S behind you, and move onto happier moments. You're a positive, uplifted person, who brings a smile to true friends every day. True friends love you.
    Love you xxx

  5. Aww thanks Fi, love you too xxx

  6. What is exactly your proof DZC?
    That some of your girlfriends are jealous?

    Just trying to establish whether you are merely paranoid.


  7. what can i say babes? i'm happy (vraiment) for you but am gonna miss our high-paced e-banter ;) .

    hyprocrites are everywhere; and on this blog?

  8. ATO: No I am not being paranoid! ask any of the 3 first girlfriends of mine who commented here!!

    @DAODE: Merci je sais, mais don't worry, blog will not stop. no reason for it to stop.

  9. Hi Dz-Chick
    What I want to know is if your man is Algerian and does he know about your blog?

    What does he think of it?


  10. Anonymous: Curiosity is another terrible thing! ;)

    Do I strike you as the type who has secrets from her man?

  11. Hi Dz-Chick again

    Ok he's not Algerian, no arab man can accept his partner to write what
    you write about.All your dating history is here for people to see even your holidays adventures in africa is publik.I know of a lot of Algerians and they are very strong head and they cannot accept something like this.

    I am not Algerian

  12. Interesting!!! Any Algerian man with the right attitude, an open mind and who is not judgmental would be able to accept what I write about, who cares if I write about dating? What is wrong with writing about my holiday? There are a lot of travel blogs out there, you don't think it's appropriate to document ones holiday on the net?

    I am not going to be judged by anybody, Algerian or otherwise, if he doesn't like what he sees/reads, then he is not worthy of me.

    Only a GREAT MAN can see the real values of a woman. I will leave it to my man to decide.

  13. Hi Dz-Chick again

    Are you muslim?


  14. Hello Hafiz, I am. Hamdoulah

  15. The only one who will be happy for you is your family. Dont expect a SINGLE friend/ women to be happy for you cause they are in nature jealous especially if she sees in you happines with your partner and she is not eperiencing the same thing. anyway dont care about that, the most important thing is to live ( profiter)your moment of happiness. And if you feel jealousy from any close friend dont pay attention ça va passer c une question de temps.

  16. Certains commentaires sont affligeants, vraiment. Leurs auteurs voient vraiment le monde à travers leur esprit étroit et ne s'imaginent même pas que d'autres puissent penser autrement. Au point de parler en leurs noms. It's soooo sad! :(

    @DZ-Chick : I envy ;-) your patience!

  17. DZ-Chick,
    HAve you noticed that when some girls meet a man, they let most of their girls friends go? that's because they discover that they are not really happy for them, exactly for the reasons you mentioned.

    However, the REAL FRIENDS, whether they are single or married, they will be happy for you, more that happy, they can be concerned, maybe, because they care about you, they want the best guy for you.

    If ANYBODY, ANYBODY, questions you in bad mean, cold,or way, or says comments that are not nice, if their behavior changes, than my DEAREST friend, you DO NOT WANT THESE GUYS in you life, this is the time to move on, if they loved you they should be happy for you.if not... well then, honey, YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THEM ANYWAY!. Better spend that time with the love of your life, and nurture that relationship.
    I know that most of us here love you, care about you, and wish you all the best.
    Hey how about a celebration right here on the blog??
    Alf MAbrouk!!!


  18. Merci Lyl et Nedjma.

    Allison, you haven't seen the rest of it!!! tis shocking!
    Certain Egyptien men think they beat us at football and refer to Algerian women as spoils of war!!! HOW DARE YOU!

    HAFIZ - have some respect.

  19. ya omri ya omri...m so happy for you ma cherie, you deserve all the v best...nchalah ki lyoum nchoufok 3rossa b la robe blanche besah madirich tasdira bark loool//rabi ykamal fi elkhir nchalah..

    Trust me I cut my friendships with two ladies sometime ago because of the same reasons...they think i am single i can pick up the phone anytime and listen to her bloody probs with her husband..i am a good listener but it was about time that i say deal with signed that paper, to me it means you are responsible to be married...

    and guess what this same woman, she wanted to introduce me to a guy who has no compatibity with me, no education, a taxi driver and wanted to get married for the papers (which i dont even have) so what the hell..

    khalik min li y3ayik ma cherie, enjoy being loved and love him back as much as he the end of the day, happiness is about sharing, communicating and laughing about silly things you do..all in all be happy and be yourself...

    love from me to you both...


  20. Haniya: don't worry, ghir tasdira li matsrach, thanks for your wishes :)

    Sounds like you know what I am talking about!!

  21. Loved your blog, as for those making accusations that "Algerian men would never accept his girl/wife to write" first not all of Algerians are "Arabs" many are Amazighen, many even have Turkish roots!! and second " not all Algerian men are uneducated and controlling" MY HUSBAND stands behind and encourages me to write, to work, and raise a family.. there is more to a woman then just cooking, cleaning and being caged in.. We do have brains and feelings, and Islam does not stop this, in fact encourages that women are educated.. keep writing my dear I truly salute you!!

  22. hallo der. seems not much is going on except for ppl trying to map who's single, taken or looking for something on the side.
    how's things?

  23. We were just bored! writers block!! what can I do to remedy the situation? being single worked better for my creativity :)

    How r u? what's going on!

  24. dunno, just go with the flow.

    am alrite, it's one of those times where a lot is going on but nothing's happened yet so let's wait and see, y tú?

  25. Nothing much Daode, work work, byfriend, boyfriend, work, sleep, that's about it...I am not writing at all, just ran out of things to say! that's happiness for you, it makes me quiet :)

  26. that's cool, enjoy babe :) . i think the blog's days are numbered :P . that wouldn't be a bad thing though.

  27. kill it! go out in style lol

  28. then start a new one for your writing

  29. That might take a while though :)

  30. don't take forever now! how long does it take to work that out you reckon?

  31. How long? how should I know! I am not going to propose am I? and I am not the type to put pressure'll be a while yet! am afraid you're stuck with me :)

  32. oh nooo ;) . you need a plan of action ... some targets & deadlines

  33. hi im amel
    ive been following your blog for a while now and im so happy for you tht yu have a man i hope it lasts inshallah its great to hear that all your waiting has paid off so will you be telling us more about your new man ?
    ill be waiting with anticipation
    Amel :)

  34. @Daode: I can't really discuss this at all...he might be reading...he might not!

    @Amel: thank you :)
    As they say; good things come to those who wait.

  35. does he even know you have a blog ?
    Amel .

  36. Maybe! I am not at a liberty to discuss this yet :)

    Stay tuned Amel...

  37. haha
    and yes i definitely will stay tuned!
    Amel :)

  38. DZ-chick, some of your friends really suck and I say it with all the respect I can muster...after reading your article.
    They do not deserve the status of friends, I know you know you deserve better.

    I read one of your posts not so long ago where you mentioned doing some cleaning in your social circle, I hope it was post this article because God knows dear you needed to get rid of a few.
    Le dicton 'Il faut mieux etre seule que mal accompagnee' is notably applicable to friendship.

    Evidently reading this article over a year after its publication give me perspective on the whole situation. I am sorry it didn't work out with that guy but he was obviously not the one.

    You deserve not only to meet your soulmate & live happily ever after, (yes this bull***t exists, stop being so cynical)but you also deserve genuine friends who will be joyful at your happiness.
    Now DZ-Chick many women tend to neglect their friends when they get in a relationship. A good friend will understand that your state of mind has been somewhat altered as you are in love and will bear with you until you can resume a life that includes your friends.


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