Wednesday 11 January 2012

Normal!

When you have two weeks holiday and you’re broke, where do you go?
To the bank of mum and dad.

My old room no longer exists; I had to sleep in the spare room!! I was woken up by someone snoring on the bed next to me, assuming it was my sister; I ignored it until come morning I found the next bed empty! When I told my mum she smiled and told me it was nothing to worry about! Spooky!

Ghosts apart, I planned to have two uneventful weeks in Algeria, just sleep, eat, relax and try not to pile on the weight.

My friend Reda and his friend Fifi (short for Malika – whaaa?) suggested we watch a movie, aired by the Chrysalide Ciné Club, entitled Normal by Merzak Allouache, it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people, exposes corruption and bureaucracy, and it was playing at the local cinema in Ryad el Feth, happy days!

Weather was nice, sun was shining, dust flying, my black shoes look now beige, Fifi is driving, quick introductions, Fifi talks fast and non stop, she drives without really looking at the road, she incessantly touches her hair and doesn’t seem to have a care in the world, I envy her happiness, lightness and non-OCD behaviour!

The old banger (the car not the girl) looks like it belongs in the museum, yet Fifi is talking about buying an AUDI A3, she doesn’t stop, rants, cries, the equivalent of £23,000 in cash are ready for the transaction she says, we can’t get hold of the lady selling it, the girl brakes down in tears “I am so unlucky, why is my luck so shit”, she doesn’t fail to mention that she lives on her own and what she does for a living to remind me that she’s not totally vacuous…
Whatever made you think I am interested honey, I am only here for the weather.

Traffic is heavy, after what felt like an eternity of inhaling fumes, we make it to the origin of the problem, I felt privileged, how many times do you ever get to the origin of traffic congestion?
Riots break out in the neighbourhood!
Inhabitants of the popular area of Salembier are rising up against the social re-housing procedures and the shortages of social housing, the social estate of Salembier was being moved somewhere else to make room for more business centres with glass facades presumably and revenue making commercial properties, but the future-ex-tenants are the last to know, I feel sorry for them, “yes but they’re getting properties for free” Reda notes but they riot because they want a three bedroom not a two, because they have seven children and no jobs! Fifi baffled “what the hell are you doing making seven children when you don’t have a job?” but she quickly remembers her own problems “I am so unlucky” she says, “why does everything happen to me”.

Roads are barricaded with tyres and bricks, riot police stopped traffic, we’re in it, Fifi driving and still moaning about her bad luck, she can’t get the car she wants, her mattress is uncomfortable from so much dosh stashed in it, she touches her hair every other sentence, she hits a motorbike, the biker and his passenger get stuck between the old banger and another older banger (Algeria is the open air museum of automobile antiquities), he punctures her freaking tyre with his something or rather, he apologised, huh? Yeah apparently it was his fault! Whatever, I don’t care whose’ fault it is, I just want to get off the death mobile.
Traffic comes to a halt, people get off their cars and start trying to entangle the motorbike from the old banger, the motobike drivers’ leg is stuck, he’s screaming, the old banger is worried about her car, she’s screaming at him; she almost slaps his leg because it’s in the way of her life! by now five cars in each direction are empty, they’re all around us trying to shift the car with me still in it.
We manage to free the leg (big thighs), the tyre is sliced open, I am scared of Fifi and make myself scarce in the back of the old banger (not an easy job I tell you), we hobble to the nearest vulcanisator, she’s still ranting about her damn Audi A3, “I am so unlucky” she cries, of course all I cared about was not missing the movie.
“When the tyre is fixed, we’re going to get my Audi”

Movie cancelled, no one can get through to the cinema, but Reda promises we’ll watch it before I leave…
When your tyre is fixed, I want to go home please and thanks, as for the movie, frankly, Merzak Allouache eat your heart out, you might have filmed it, but I just lived it.

Dz-Chick…can’t wait to move back to Algeria!

Movie and Cine Club info:
http://forumdesdemocrates.over-blog.com/article-normal-de-merzak-allouache-95916286.html
http://www.dna-algerie.com/culture/normal-de-merzak-allouache-prix-du-meilleur-long-metrage-arabe-au-festival-doha-tribeca
 

84 comments:

  1. Aaaaaaah. I missed you girl!
    J'adore tes articles dz society :)

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  2. Merci ms belle! All vrais story!

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  3. @ Dz-chick

    I miss you too. Just as much as you've missed me.

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  4. Anonymous Whoever you are, I am sure I miss you too

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  5. @Dz-Chick:

    Thanks darling. That's quite comforting of you!

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  6. @Dz-Chick:

    I take your word for it. BTW, when will you write an essay about yourstruly? You do that and I'll write a poem that will leave you speechless and red-faced with shame.

    Chico

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  7. Funny story, although sad reality back home. I believe Fifi is as slappable as many show off girls in Algeria!

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  8. Qu’en est-il des autres bloggeurs? Est-il possible qu’ils ai déserté leur poste et qu’il ne reste plus que quelques Anonymes, Dz-Chick, Blue et Narcisse ?!! hmmm…étranges phénomène a mon avis !

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  9. Blue give it a chance hon, it just went on :)

    Chico your head is also the size of a small country (ATO Being the other one) why don't you submit your poem!

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  10. My Chica

    That would be after you have given me my well-deserved first kiss. I need some kind of stimuli/inspiration.

    Chico

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  11. Brilliant - DZ chick at her best. It was almost like being there ! Did you get to rest in the end? and what is stopping you from moving to Algeria tomorrow?

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  12. Thx Anonymous, I did Get to rest yes, napping every day like a cat on the sofa .... Love it!
    I have a few things to sort out here before I am done with dear England!

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  13. So you're really going back to Algiers?! Are you going to manage to get used to life there?!

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  14. yeah seriously considering going back to DZ Land...if everything goes to plan...i'll be writing y adventures from over there!

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  15. I wish you all the best:) You have to promise though not to stop writing on this blog!

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  16. Nice post. I love algerian drama. Fifi sounds like a typical algerian woman.

    I am not sure what to say about your plans on moving back to Algiers. You probably found the ONE and he wants you to move back. Come on, tell us. Well, it will be good for us since you will have a lot of material to write about. I can't wait...
    My prediction: I will give you two years tops to see you back to London. Wish you good luck though.

    Maricani

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  17. Maticani hardly :) I haven't met anyone and "he wants me to move back??" as if lol

    Fifi is a very typical Algerian women yes, I envied her and hated her and liked her at the same time, so confusing, she did my head in with her incessant chatter like a monkey, did not make me laugh ( piss poor) but gave me an eventful day in Algiers!

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  18. ahh you've just described the very oddity of the Algerian people, we love, yet hate, we dream, yet have no hope, we trust, yet are suspecious of everything.. vives nous :)

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  19. Dz-Chick moving to Algiers would be like a new restaurant opening in town. One thing's for sure: I'll be first in the queue...yummy yummy yummy

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  20. Missa is that short for Melissa?
    I love the Algerian mentality, it's hilarious, abnoxious, arrogant, kind, giving and mischievous all at the same time

    I am sure I will have fun living there again...one day!

    Anonymous flattery will get you anywhere :)

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  21. Dz-Chick:

    I see that you're enjoying quite much your single life. What would get me anywhere...close?

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  22. Anonymous I am not sure what you mean either,
    Question is where would flattery get you? I said anywhere,
    Close? Yeah perhaps but not all it takes

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  23. Hey Anonymous, go find your own gurls. This sophisticated chick is mine and mine only.

    Chico

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  24. It's you isn't it!! The same anonymous guy!

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  25. Oups! busted..:)

    Chico x

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  26. bad boy, bad boy whatcha gonna do, what you gonna do when they come for you..:)

    Chico

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  27. Are you bored in prison? Don't they have activities? Are you always squatting the library?
    Oh I think it's lunch time :)

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  28. @Dz-Chick

    The art of sarcasm eludes you because you killed its mother-humor. However, that doesn't mean your life is over. Not at all. You can still service those who are of such a mind, and who don't care if the attention is coming from a deluded person such as yourself.

    Chico

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  29. Wow now we see your true colours!
    Just like ALL your previous comments! Mine was was also a joke :)

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  30. Dz-Chick:

    Bad Joke, that is an understatement.
    Your creative juices just aren't flowing any longer. They ceased when you DIVORCED yourself from me and my in-depth guidance that would've led you out of the deep darkness of the dungeon that is CELIBACY.

    Chico

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  31. Please don't ruin this blog with negative vibes Chico, Dz chick is a very nice girl

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  32. You should know about bad jokes!

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  33. @Anonymous,

    She surely is! Else I would not seek after her to the point of wild imaginings and sleepless nights..

    Chico

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  34. CELIBACY CELIBAT CELIBATARD CELIBAYAR

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  35. What's this? Célibat wa mouchtakatouh?

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  36. not mouchtakatouhou, It is celibacy itself

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  37. Chico, no offence pal, but you sound like a bit/a lot like a psycho stalker. DZ Chick noooooooo!

    Re moving to Algeria, how long being back before the systematic failure of being able to do anything at all!!

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  38. @Anonymous:

    Anyone with a modicum of sense of humour knows it's all innocent banter we're having.
    I kinda love to scratch the surface to know what's underneath. Dz-Chick is a lovely lady. God bless her. There's no more to it than that.

    Chico

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  39. Since you're moving back home Dz-Chick this song is for you...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=M1Hc0F_CSaM&NR=1

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  40. Thx Chico
    Thx Anonymous
    Thx Blue :)
    When will this week be over!!

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  41. Chico, take it down a notch will ya??? You are becoming annoying. Try to resist behaving like a typical algerian.

    Maricani

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  42. Why is everyone so annoyed with Chico? I find his quest for DZ-Chick's love quiet entertaining and full of humour :)

    Maybe it's the million compliments he gives himself? Chico, do you feel the need to do that because no one is doing it for you? :D

    @DZ-Chick: It's finally Friday :) your weekend is to start in a few hours! (that is if you don't work on Saturday)

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  43. @Anonymous:

    Being envious or jealous of my many fine qualities is not going to fill the vacant spot that cries out to be given attention.

    Chico

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  44. @Missa:


    As I mentioned it before, isn't flattering themselves a thing that all living legends just naturally do?
    But of course I am high on myself. There is in me no defect that would cause a lowering of my opinion of myself. And I have no reason at all to lower the estimated value of myself.
    As for Dz-Chick, how shall I put this? Well, she would make a very good marriage partner if she can find a man with enough intelligence to keep apace of her tempo. She is one sharp little cookie, but she is also confused about certain things. It might be that she works too hard trying to meet the expectations of others. Not always a good idea. It is obvious that she is frustrated, and doesn't know how get rid of it in an acceptable manner.
    Hell, few of us do. I have to admit though that I like the little hellcat. In her more tamer moods, of course.
    Anyway, after our last knock-down-drag-out, I arranged for us to get advice from a very good marriage counselor. Dz-Chick refused to attend even one meeting, and descended into an ever worse tirade of name-calling. I guess the only thing in our future is a messy divorce. I am to the point of not caring, except for our children. I have no idea of what is to become of them. They will probably end up in foster homes.
    I have another woman on my mind. She has class, and is damn good where it counts. Love you Blue!

    Chico

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  45. Breaking tker3éje

    Fifi zyeuverre a acheté une BMW classe one (Année 2010, kilométrage : 25000Km, Safya) au lieu D'une Audi A3 S-Ligne.

    -Fifi zyeuverre " ma3liche, mhamssa walla charre"


    Zigabotta de ka3 sour

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  46. Wow Chico, I'm impressed by this declaration of love, but DZ-Chick is too smart to know that it is one of you tactics for the only purpose to drive her closer to you.

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  47. @Blue:

    How dare you, of all people, should doubt my burning love for you! How could you be so unperceptive of a woman?
    You seem to be mocking my deep feelings for you. How ignoble that! You write words that cut to the soul. Now you most definitely owe me an apology. On your knees! DO IT

    Chico

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  48. @ Chico: Again with the "DO IT"!!pfff...On my knees I, Blue, appologize for whatever I did to you hun. Satisfied?!

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  49. @Blue:

    There's only one thing that can remarkably satisfy me of which I will leave to you very capable mind.

    Chico

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  50. Missa TGIF - am a Mon- Fri kid of girl

    Zigabotta de ka3 sour merci pour la bouteille lol
    Fifi yeux verts a acheter une BMW safya, 3anada...

    chico hellcat indeed! I am very well tempered actually expect on Mondays!

    Blue you apologise on your knees huh! he got wrapped around his little probably webbed finger!
    lol I hope he's worth :) i just better be invited to the wedding simon SCANDALE I tell ya!

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  51. Love this one, Dz-Chick.
    Happy New Year by the way!

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  52. @Dz-Chick: lolll...No one is getting married here hun! I was just calming a baby's bad temper:)

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  53. Happy New year Allison, happy to see you pop up from time to time xx

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  54. @Dz-Chick:

    Rest assured that you'll certainly be the first to get the invite. Hell, I'll even let you be our bridesmaid, and we'll make sure that you catch the holy bouquet. Whatever close relationship that you prefer I will agree to. It will only get better and closer from thereon. Will it not? wink

    Chico

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  55. @Blue:

    The hungry baby needs breast feeding. Got milk? (to quote an old commercial)

    Chico

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  56. in Algeria my LOVELY country all is NORMAL, Riad el feth, ohh des souvenirs
    En 1999 durant ma dernière année à l'université, j'ai vu un film Algérien là-bas, MADE IN (I am not sure how to spell it), une de mes amies qui était avec moi a perdu son père le soir même..

    Merci pour l'article, bonne continuation.

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  57. @ Chico: Sorry no milk! I have coke in a can, will that do?! ;)

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  58. @Blue:

    I don't mind having coke as long as it's coming out of your dear booby. I am a very demanding, capricious and ridiculously stubborn lil monster.

    Chico

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  59. Hi DZ-Chick,

    Sorry to say that did not catch the clue from this real story.... some kind confusing. It's just can be understood by ppl live in Algiers not even in south ! Please be more specific on daily issues we face as Algerians and not "Algeroi(e)s"
    Thanks for taking this positively...
    Amine

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  60. Merci Anonymous ... Souvenirs souvenirs

    Amine Sorry you didn't get the gist of the story, I thought it was quite obvious and not just to Algeriens or Algerois, but to a lot of other people from all nationalities...

    It's not specific to Algiers, it just do happen to be based there, the story is about how everything in Algeris is Normaaal and how people care more material possessions than human lives, friends etc

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  61. Merci pour l'article DZ-Chick,

    Permettez-moi de commenter juste un peu sur votre échange à vous et à Amine et sur cette partie principalement,
    « the story is about how everything in Algeris is Normaaal and how people care more material possessions than human lives, friends etc »

    En étant Algérienne vivant à Alger, je comprends parfaitement ce que vous décrivez mais on a du mal à sauter à la conclusion que vous citez dans la deuxième partie de votre phrase.

    Fifi exemple d'un humain qui existe dans toutes les nationalités et races si on parle d'un téléphone mobile dernier cri dans un coin du monde on peut parler de la voiture (matériel) en Algérie. On parle de ce qui est à la mode pour s'attirer une attention surtout en milieu de jeunes. Mais Dieu sait que nous sommes les moins matérialistes comparés aux Européens et Américains.

    Je ne suis pas entrain de prendre la défense de 'Fifi', c'est vrai que tout est NORMAl en Algérie, dans un pays où on détourne des milliards de dollars sans poursuite judiciaire pire encore même pas journaliste. Cependant, il est difficile à l'exemple de Fifi de porter, à lui seul, la responsabilité de dégager des conclusion aussi générales que pointues à la fois.

    Dans votre passage: « it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people, exposes corruption and bureaucracy » Permettez moi de le prendre comme ça: «  it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people AS RESULT OF exposes corruption and bureaucracy »

    Je ne vous encourage pas à prendre Fifi comme victime est essayer de la consoler mais plutôt ; si Fifi est productive, éduquée,... Encourageons-la à prendre part dans le développement de son entourage (de son pays par conséquent) et laisser la « réver » d'une A3 couleur blanche neige toutes options ;)

    Votre article est vraiment intéressant , Merci de provoquer l'avocat permanent en moi.

    Nour.

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  62. Merci Nour pour ton commentaire. Je te réponds en anglais pour que tout le monde puisse suivre.
     
    I think the text is quite clear but at the same time subtle, I don’t need to explain things literally this is not journalism.
    Materialism, selfishness are all there and the conclusion you are referring to is palpable, you just need read to between the lines, and sometimes, it’s even on the lines :)
     
    As for the movie description I offered, you add «  it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people AS RESULT OF exposes corruption and bureaucracy »  well the movie talks about dissolution, corruption and bureaucracy, in which order I don’t know, I never got to watch the movie so I cannot as you did make any comment.

    What was as a result of what? I don’t know, what comes first the chicken or the egg I don’t know!
    Though I understand where you’re coming from, I cannot say I totally agree with your add “as a result” but then again it can true in some cases. Did you watch the movie?
     
    Fifi is not a victim, she’s my friend Reda’s friend, she is happy and lives her life the way she sees fit, I relayed the fact of a day in Algiers, Fifi happened to be part of it, no body is judging or criticising, we’re pointing out facts and making observations.
     
    Thanks for the keen interest and the analysis, keep it coming…:)
     
    DZC

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  63. Sure enchellah I'll keep writing now that I discovered this blog:)

    making observations is different from stating conclusions,

    I felt I was concerned by the materialism and selfishness part (may be I am), lol that is why I tried to claim the contrary.
    Or may be because I am the one selling the A3.

    Nour.

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  64. As long as you're not Fifi :)

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  65. Ahh, khssara alik.

    how you could ever hurt me so?
    Me, Fifi ??!!! never ever, I already have my A3.

    Nour.

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  66. Yeah sorry Nour, but what's wrong with Fifi, I thought she was ok :) ... In a crazy, materialistic way!
    Mabrrook la A3 miss! La3kouba l'Fifi

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  67. No doubt, Fifi is nass malh like EVERYONE in Algeria.

    see how proud I am of being Algerian:)


    Nour.

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  68. Every Algerian woman has a variable dose of "Fifi" distilled in her.

    C

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  69. Sorry, I meant "instilled". So allow me to rephrase the whole mess:
    ALL Algerian women have a variable dose of "Fifi" instilled in them.

    C

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  70. Dz-Chick

    All things considered, that is not a shocking REVELATION.

    Ch

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  71. Sounds like judjment

    Your mind wondered farther than intended by my innocent comment! But I can't say that's shocking either!

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  72. Dz-Chick

    Do you really wanna know what makes my mind "wander"?
    Check this video for possible clues: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87mRKnUeiyE

    Chi

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  73. That ought to be our national anthem!

    Have a good day "Innocent" Chick :)

    Chico

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  74. Co-dependant national Anthem perhaps

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  75. Dz-Chick

    Now that is my babe! Thought you'd given up spitting fire at me:)

    Chico

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  76. Stop spitting fire at you!! Never! Why would I do that! I promise to never stop :)

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  77. @Dz-Chica:

    I am quite taken by the fact that you'll indeed keep "spitting fire at me" which is another evidence of our ongoing love affair.
    When two people are so strongly committed to each other as you and I are, many unusual and wonderful things tend to happen. You no doubt desire adventure and challenges or you would not be seeking a common ground on which we both can stand and hold hands. It will be a challenge because of the many nay sayers, but we can still do it due to our combined strength. Together we can become invincible.

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  78. Ruminating.
    I think that's the psychological term for what Fifi is doing. It is like a stuck record (if everyone remembers gramophone records) going over in her head, or replaying an argument that happened, feeling a victim of life ('why do all bad things only happen to me'), over-thinking and obsessing. A feeling that the person 'attracts' problems, or believing that problems come in groups.
    Women tend to ruminate more than men but I can't see Algerians ruminating more than, say, Koreans.

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  79. I love reading your blog :) I wish you the best of luck on moving back to Algeria. We'll all end up going back one day, it's home.

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  80. Thank you Amonymous... Moving back to Algetia has always been the back up plan, if things don't go my way here...I wonder if I would feel the same about Algeria if my patents were no longer!

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