Thursday 26 May 2011

Dull Thursday

Inspiration eludes me, I feel jaded, I try to write but nothing remotely inspired or funny comes out, I hate my keyboard, it’s filthy, I spend a good 20 mins cleaning it with one of those air-spray thingies, it gives me frost bite, I can’t sepll, I have to use a spellchecker, I debate with my colleague on how to spell warehouse, I tell her she is a vacuous blonde, she laughs…see??

A videoconference meeting at 3pm, I refuse to attend, I prefer to dial in because I have a suave voice and I somehow look fat on screen, apparently the camera adds at least 2 kg on you, 5kg with bad quality cameras like the ones we have here, so I dial in and don’t listen to the call.

PMS is getting much better, since I have been taking those Magnesium supplements, soon I will be able to control metal like Magneto and rule the world.

Weight is under control, love life deserted, work eeeehhhhh
I want to go home (Algeria) and eat temina with my dad, and explain to my worried mum who is too scared to tell me she wants to see me happily married, that if there was a man, I would be with him, but alas, I seem to drive them away, must be that curse! Have to do something about that.

I try to reassure my mother: a woman needs a man like a shark needs vegetables, I stop and wait for her to understand, she laughs nervously, and then I withdraw my statement and explain that I was joking and that I want a man in my life like I want many other things, e.g. a Porsche, but what wants doesn’t get, apparently I have to need the man to find him. Frankly who has the time!

Glad it’s raining today, a good excuse to go home (London home), sit on sofa, watch CSI, make some long distance phone calls and eat chocolate.

YES I AM BORED RIGID.

87 comments:

  1. you are funny. i don't mean that you're funny in a funny way. you're just funny. in a vulnerable way ;) .

    what's a suave voice btw?

    and what about iron pills?

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, love it.. I am on evening primose for PMS, they seem to help :D but not great deal might give Mg tabs a shot...ur mum sounds like my mum for gods sake..grrr...

    @ TDW, really iron tabs are for something else :D

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. @ TDW: Suave, charming, charismatic I don't know...Beautiful!!

    @ Haniya: Primrose Oil have a lot of calories I hear!
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Maybe it's not so much PMS but London's weather that gets into you.

    You need that sunny and blue sky you're born under.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @DZC: ou la laaa! maybe you should have a spoken word version of your next post :p . here's an idea.

    @Haniya: what are Iron tabs for?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I just came back from holidays and it's been sunny lately so it's not the weather, I am pretty sure I am just homesick! Je soufre de Nostalgerie.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @TDW: I could do, but a lot of my friends read this blog but don't know it's me, so that would be a dead give away! no can do Dawood sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous has a point, the lack of light has an effect on us it seems albeit not on a conscious level.
    obviously, you could also be homesick on top of that.

    lol @ your friends; am gonna refrain from commenting on that :p - fair enough though. an even better idea would be your voice masqueraded as a robotic voice reading the post, like a female dalek if you've ever watched dr who.

    ReplyDelete
  9. lol you are weird TDW! yeah a female Dalek would be so funny! what's so funny abt the friends comment!

    ReplyDelete
  10. i know, that's my charm.

    how can they not recognise you? thank God we're not friends :p

    ReplyDelete
  11. I guess they're not good friends! my close friends ALL know obviously! SOOO You don't want to be my friend? pffff

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous (another one!) and TDW bring up an interesting point. You could just take vitamin D supplement for a while and see if it helps and then write a post about your experience, LOL!
    See, we care about you DZ-Chick... :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am also taking multi-vitamins! the result is outstanding!
    Awww my virtual friends who care about me, how sweet!
    Merci Allison xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. "I could do, but a lot of my friends read this blog but don't know it's me"
    - That must be very funny. Why don't you write a post about that too, without giving much details?
    Or is it impossible without revealing your identity?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Some of these people have actually commented on the blog, not sure if they know it's me really since they never mentioned it, but I recognise them and their writing/thinking. would be funny but tricky!! Careful approach needed, will draft something and see what come out! I will load up on the Magnesium for more inspiration ;)
    Do you write Allison?

    ReplyDelete
  16. "but I recognise them and their writing/thinking."
    Really? Hmmm... But you can't be 100% sure it's them, though, right?

    "Do you write Allison?"
    Not really, don't have time (or maybe it's just an excuse).
    But I know it's a good catharsis.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It is definitely good catharsis, I always feel cleansed when I write something. You should try! Time has nothing to do with it, stop procrastinating and let us read one of your stories/pieces/bites :)

    Yes I am 90% sure it's them.

    ReplyDelete
  18. "a woman needs a man like a shark needs vegetables "

    This is not a joke ,
    Algerian women think really like that !! lOl

    Men have to take care about it cause if they want to marry them ,
    they will have to get diamomds lOl !!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Well Bruno, sharks don't need vergetables!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. @Allison: you're so curieuse (in a good way):p , maybe you and DZC know each other and you're trying to confirm your suspicions lol.

    @DZc: oops ;) . if we were friends, i would most definitely recognise you, i think :D .

    ReplyDelete
  21. @ TDW: Not only would you recognise me, if you met me for 5 mins you'd know I was DZ-Chick!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. better never meet then :p

    ReplyDelete
  23. @Tdw : Not a single chance we know each other, alas... :)
    You're right on one count though : I'm very "curieuse", intellectually that is... and I like funny situations like the one she describes (knowing people reading your blog without recognizing that it is you).

    ReplyDelete
  24. oh yeah definitely i can see the amusement in that.
    the follow-on question would be: how did they find out about the blog? if through google, that would be quite interesting i.e. that quite a few people actually google random things, which is an interesting factoid ...
    i also wonder if anyone i know comments on here although i doubt it but who knows.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Interesting Poll:
    How did you find out about the blog?

    1) Friend
    2) Google, if yes what key words?
    3) You know the Dz-Chick
    4) Other, details pls

    ReplyDelete
  26. 4) I read regularly El Watan and a few months ago there was a snippet featuring the blog Vie Algeroise. So, I started reading that blog and a guy (or a gal) there talked about DZ-Chick blog, which led me here. Actually, he/she was saying that both blogs were similar which I couldn't disagree more. They're totally and very different but equally fun! Again LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yeah that's how I discovred Mina's blog as well, somebody mentioned mine to her! Both blogs deal with Algerian society in general, but are TOTALLY different, but Mina and I are on the same cloud.

    ReplyDelete
  28. @TDW : Yeah, reminds me of that six degrees of separation theory that says we are all linked six steps away to anyone else...

    ReplyDelete
  29. I know who you are but do you know who I am, that is the question! :)

    For the poll: 1.

    A friend (also your friend) told me about it, but we both remained anonymous readers. It's much more fun. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ahhh here come the anoynmousES!!!
    It is much more fun and I am INTRIGUED! well done! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  31. I need to add that the blog was discovered by chance when browsing algerian blogs, and after a couple of reads we thought it might be you, so it was interesting to figure it out, and with time (a few weeks) our suspicions were confirmed and we became 102% sure it is you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. I knew I should never have posted that Africa story! it was too obvious especialy for people on my Facebook!! oh well :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oooppsss... Oh well, I'm sure 99,99% of them are good people that wish you well

    ReplyDelete
  34. Loooooooots of things were give aways! :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. so, Allison you're sure you don't know her now?

    ReplyDelete
  36. @Anonymous who knows me! I don't mind when it's my friends or their friends as long as they keep it themselves! It spoils things otherwise! But I give you that, there are lots of giveaways yes for someone who knows me even remotely.

    @ TDW: LOL@ Awwwwkward! You’re a nightmare

    ReplyDelete
  37. @TDW : Yep, 150%. It's just impossible we know each other.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Well, me no tell anyone! I promise. :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. @Allison: cool.

    @DZC: mskeena :p don't worry, miss anonymous who knows you and her friend seem to be nice.

    ReplyDelete
  40. @ TDW: I don't know who is this DZ friend of yours teaching you Meskina! but I don't like it! :p

    How do you know the 2 Anonymouses are female!!

    ReplyDelete
  41. ahahah well you could teach me others :p i know quite a few words, i just don't use them much here. a lot of them are insults as well.

    can't you tell? i have a feeling they're girls, just ask them.

    ReplyDelete
  42. You ask them!

    I think I posted enough Algerian in this blog for you to start paying me... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  43. i think I posted enough in this blog for me to start charging you :p

    and i normally get my algerian lessons in person ;) .

    ReplyDelete
  44. what can i say? je suis en forme lol.

    ReplyDelete
  45. For the Poll I don't remember but I probably was googling someting like 'Algerian girls in London', back in the days when I was giving Algerian girls a chance.

    How do I know you?
    I guessed and I got it right first time, it is strange but you turned out to be the one, even though I don't know you personally. The story of how I know of you is one of the most interesting ones in this blog ;)


    Anonymous (the real one)
    P.s Sorry for the long absence causing confusion and suspicions

    ReplyDelete
  46. Most interesting story here? care to share it with us Anonymous? I am intrigued indeed! you must know be a friend of my ne of my friends of something! maybe you met me and then they told you she write a blog! is that about it? :P

    From yout comment, I take it you gave you on Algerian girls now!

    ReplyDelete
  47. J ecris comme un taree!! sorry about that!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Dropped few hints here and there, sometimes too much. I am sure you know who I am, you just can't be sure for technical reasons.

    We have no friend in common. We could do though but that is not how I came to know of you.

    Anyways Nothing to worry about I know very little about you and nothing bad, most of what I know was from reading this blog.

    Did I not say it is one of the most interesting stories?

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  49. Roht 3and al guezzana? :)
    Interesting indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  50. la revoluciĂ³n des revelaciones - too bad i have nothing to reveal to join in the fun.

    ReplyDelete
  51. My spy skills (not staking skills) rather and the ability to connet the dots.

    Just in case you are in doubt, My legs are hurting right now because of something.

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  52. I don't know anyone who ran the London Marathon this year, well maybe one guy but he probably doesn't even know about this blog! besides he's a friend and you said we don't know eachother, Soooo

    Oh did you break your leg recently? damn I am really not good at this guessing game! more clues please...

    ReplyDelete
  53. at this rate, i will probably figure out who Anonymous (the real) is before you ...

    ReplyDelete
  54. @TDW: Let's team up to find out who Anonymous (the real one) is!

    ReplyDelete
  55. his legs hurt coz he went for a run in the morning lol.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Or he was at the ONB gig and he now has pain in his legs from all the dancing!? I don't know I am trying!!

    ReplyDelete
  57. no, that would be you

    ReplyDelete
  58. Dz Chick you are so cool....

    ReplyDelete
  59. Calm down DZC

    TDW dropped a scary hint before.
    Because of that I know TDW knows who DZC is.
    Only he missed (or delibrately left out) the second part.


    Anonymous (Always, and sobering up)

    ReplyDelete
  60. perhaps we know each other as well Anonymous? lolol

    ReplyDelete
  61. Just so we're clear! TDW is not Algerian.

    I know I don't know either of you TDW or Anonymous, or at least if I do, then you've hidden it very well.

    I don't think either of you really know me either :P

    ReplyDelete
  62. i know you, you're a friend of my cousin - just kidding.

    ReplyDelete
  63. and through you, i know Anonymous as well lol

    ReplyDelete
  64. Has there been a secret blog meeting behind my back?

    ReplyDelete
  65. Hello , I don't know TDW
    Anyways guys, got a massive headache.

    Hope it goes away

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  66. @ Anonymous (the real one) that's not a headache hon, that's the one too many beers syndrome!

    Hope it getts better! Mine has passed

    ReplyDelete
  67. Thanks!

    Weash thebbi elmektoob.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPn2Xdr6_Xs

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  68. no1 knows me but i know every1 hihihi

    ReplyDelete
  69. i got a headache and blurry vision from poppers

    ReplyDelete
  70. TDW
    By knowing I mean having proof who someone is.
    I have not connected your dots yet
    But be sure Project TDW is well underway and is almost complete.
    :)
    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  71. cool cool. i don't really have any dots so it might be hard to connect them ;-).

    ReplyDelete
  72. Lol
    Don't underestimate my linking skills :-)

    If in doubt, ask 77 (or 34). He will be able to tell what flowers can do ;)

    Sorry don't mean to sound like a Maniac

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  73. 77 or 34? is that in decimal format?

    to be brootally honest, there is nothing to link so am not sure how successful you're gonna be ;) .

    ReplyDelete
  74. hahahhaha...guys ur so much fun...@ Anonymous...3andi ch7al i didnt listen to this song loool....staifi wela khaliya?!?!

    bzzzz

    ReplyDelete
  75. @TDW
    And currently there is no budget for Project TDW lol
    @Haniya
    Yes, sad Staifi music, fits well with the hangover guilt.
    By the end of the week, the horns will have grown anew again, wesh thebbi
    Elghorba elli 3mletha bia

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  76. Good timing Anonymous le vrai ;) . during hard times, matters at hand must be prioritised and am certainly not one of them, well i shouldn't be anyway :P .

    ReplyDelete
  77. I thank God that my mother never push me to get married ..but our damn society do it everyday

    :D I know that you know that he or she knows and finally nobody knows nobody

    ps: like your blog and JVA brought me here, agree it's different but quite as funny

    ReplyDelete
  78. Cheers Isis.
    Well welcome to Dz-Chick land.

    ReplyDelete
  79. As long as this is not french land it's an honor to be welcomed on yours

    ReplyDelete
  80. I think that this article is brilliant, it has a taste of Dejas vue ;)

    ReplyDelete
  81. Thursday cannot be dull DZ-Chick as this poetic sister has written: 'Thursday is like a cool chick, everybody loves a Thursday, she wears a skirt above the knee and has a lot of charisma, is playful and inviting, she tells you to “come out to play” and you would often oblige, she is relentless'.

    On a serious note, you ought to consider doing stand up comedy. I will be the first to book a ticket on your first event, even before your mother gets to it. Talking about your amazing mother (she has to be amazing as the apple doesn't fall far from the tree et que les chiens ne font pas des chats), telling her that 'a woman needs a man like a shark needs vegetables' is pure genius, what a great and accurate statement. MDR

    A woman should want a man, if she needs a man it highlights deficiencies within herself which is very unhealthy for any relationship.

    So the camera adds 2kg on you and 5kg if the camera is of bad quality?! LOL I is loving this Miss suave voice, conclusions reached in conclusion of intensive research no doubt!

    Porsches are overrated, nothing beats British classic cars such as the Bentleys, Aston Martins, Jaguars and the Roll Royces.

    ReplyDelete

Most popular ramblings!