Unfortunately I have grown out of it, I let go of a lot of my negativity and anger which gave way to sedation and boredom. Dull dull dull
So much to whinge about, so little will to do it, I seem to have developed this thing where I see the better side of things, good side of people, of shit, as a result I became what some would consider a wise person, I try to excuse every prick that says something stupid, I don’t slap the slapables, I smile when annoyed now, I almost made friends with a stingy busy little bee God forbid, I say things like “it’s ok they’re just kids”, or in other words I became a pushover and to overcome that problem I thought it's safer if I stopped hanging out with people who would take advantage of my Buddha-like demeanour (whaaaat?) and eventually I stopped going out altogether.
London has become a challenge to overcome, like a purgatory waiting to know where you'll end up heaven or hell, or maybe that's a bit dramatic!! Alright ....it feels like a groundhog day, repeating itself tirelessly waiting for something to change to break the cycle. Taking the same train to the same job, working with the same insane boss, doing the same workouts yet looking exactly the same even when I dye my hair orange and think I dropped a couple of kilos, walking the same streets, hearing the same natter between the same idiots who still to this day rave about the 70% Sales, about Big Brother and XFactor.
So I take a different walk, try to do something new, see if I can trip this groundhog day up, I decide to walk, I walk in the park, see so many faces and I get the feeling that they’re all new here, I keep walking until I find myself by a pond, I don’t know where I am but you always know you’re in the royal borough when they’re throwing ciabatta at the ducks, so I don't roll my eyes and I just move on, I want to be around people who aren’t fooled by status and possessions, I want my feet to take me somewhere I can meet someone interesting and fun who stands for things and doesn’t run a mile when I open my mouth, who looks beyond what is expected of us and dares to be different.
There’s no shame in saying, I always felt it was ok to talk about this as long as I was writing anonymously but pretty soon everyone else will know who I am and it’s about time I took responsibility for Dz-Chick, maybe Groundhod Day will soon be over…
Until then…still walking in the hope of stumbling on a different path or waking up on a different day!
Well... When your Clark Kent takes ownership of your Superman, all that will happen is that people who really like you will still like you... nothing else. As for threading a new path... we all try to from time to time... one thing though... You need to get out of purgatory. If you only live somewhere physically and not mentally then you'll always feel deep down that you don't belong. Got to 'take the jump' emotionally and metaphorically one way or another at some point. Everything else falls into place after.
ps: love the Royal Borough/Ciabatta thing. Better than feeding cows plastic bags...
haha I like the Superman vs Kent! you always say the nicest things ;)ReplyDelete
Time to change indeed...working on it! Thanks Beykar
B'la mzyia! Just go with the flow and NO guilt...Delete
Checked out this blog yesterday wondering what had happened to you!ReplyDelete
Glad you're alive :)
Beykar's "If you only live somewhere physically and not mentally then you'll always feel deep down that you don't belong." sounds too familar...
We've all been there, but there comes a point where the choice has to be made. No need to feel guilty about it. Making somewhere your home doesn't mean you forget your previous home. It's all part of us.. ok, That's my fetwa-tising done for the week. Back to the real world...
A3la slamtek hbiba!!!ReplyDelete
I've been peeking from time to time and was wondering how you were doing.
Now, let's read that long-awaited post... :)
I totally agree with beykar.....your soul had left, probably this time last year, and it is time for your body to follow....you will definately miss london but reunion with your kickass soul will make you forget...time to move on girl!ReplyDelete
Oh I am still here Mnarvi ...barely! Glad to see your blog is still going.ReplyDelete
JustMe Thanks :) Bonani to you too and best wishes for 2015 etc...
And? you read?
Lilia I am now officially working on it :)
Liked the post Dz-Chick.ReplyDelete
As someone said: I've been there... and I'm still here... :/
You're a smart girl; no matter what decision you come to, it'll be good.
I always wondered if it's really more depressing to live among superficial and lobotomised consumers than to live with an uneducated pro-daesh populace.. well since last friday I know..ReplyDelete
Well both are superficial and lobotomized in their own way when you think of it..Delete
Homo Erectus These new pro-Daesh groups are quite obviously residue from the 90s Islamist uprising. Bouteflika bottled them up with money, now that oil prices are down and a few conspiracies are cooking in the background i.e. I am not excluding any theories of Western or Israeli interferences. Frankly the situation is very precarious, Algeria is in a very vulnerable situation, my hunch is there will be more events unfolding on the Daesh front, it feels like they tested the waters and they found a suitable non-resistant ground to lay their eggs!ReplyDelete
Some of them are "residue" (though we have to distort the true meaning of the word because they're still quite a lot !) some of them were not even born when the FIS was at heights. They seem like normal cool kids listening to hip-hop and raï but they think that it's normal to behead people because they're "chia'a", enemy of God, or to kill some one who draws the prophet. It's frightening when I sometimes talk with them, their mind is totally polluted with insane hateful thoughts. That's a complete failure for the algerian school when teenagers have such a mindset.ReplyDelete
Unfortunately when the youth are marginalised and impoverished, they will cling to religion...to extremes! Scary prospect!!ReplyDelete
Not all of them are marginalised nor impoverished.. It's not just a socio-economic issue... there's some serious theological problems also.. let's face it..ReplyDelete
Well theological when you discuss education perhaps and the general and national take on religion and tolerance and acceptance, there simply no room for it in our religion anymore. It makes you really question a lot of fundamentals and in the process you become perhaps better at it than them because you don't simply say "Well I am out"ReplyDelete
In regard to your last walk in the park I see wealth coming to you soon dz bella! so lets hope this year will bring you happiness, good health and WEALTH.ReplyDelete
I like the ciabatta and the ducks story, I myself witnessed a couple throwing fresh croissant at the ducks in regent canal toward little venise pond :(
hahaha croissants! yep that's what I am talking about!ReplyDelete
Thanks M health and wealth is a good combination and Love, let's not forget Love.
Happy Friday and a great weekend to you :)
Oula I'm late! Yeah keep walking who knows... As for me I'm stuck 6/7 days at work with "gossip hags" it's mmm interesting? Well at least now I know that to wash clothes one should use "Lechat Gel" and not "Lechat poudre", which is crappy I heard..ReplyDelete
Sedation and Boredom came first for me, how odd.. Now i'm feeling the urge mm not to slap, maybe slice? is it bad dr? :( it's been fun reading ya!!
ps: to wring clothes only with a washing machine only use prog N°1 its the best for "doudounes" ;)
You haven't really missed much El Aswed! haven't really been writing!ReplyDelete
Though I just had a brilliant idea for a funny post...maybe! I am not very funny these days! too much bullshit around. Well you made me laugh so at least I know I still understand humour :/
I wash my clothes on programme B or D I am not really sure, the one that turns my dresses into tops and my shorts into knickers! They smell good though.