|made by dz-chick (like obviously)|
Friday, 7 September 2012
Wipe that glass ceiling woman!
One distant day (thank god) when I was looking for a job, after several interviews, many versions to my CV, three rotating suits and about 15 rejections I managed to land a job. The fifteen rejections were based on my being overqualified for the job, how can I be overqualified for a job when I am just out of University? I knew deep down it was because I was a little cocky and too strikingly beautiful for the female interviewees who always seem to be focusing a little more on my hair or my hips than on my CV! But don’t get side-tracked with this little anecdote, our plight is with men.
Somebody somewhere, mentioned that women, who have spent a good deal of their lives studying, can be too much, They change (change is bad), their mentality is altered (to the worse) and become too logical, analytical and demanding to keep a relationship going and the emotional rollercoaster that men will put them through, in other words she’ll wake up, look at him and say Eh ben merde alors! Or in other words (English ones): why don’t you go fly a kite!
Somebody else of equal chauvinistic characteristics and less intelligence also mentioned that women who are mentally emancipated, successful and independent will never be truly happy.
It seems there is a consensus on women who over-achieve, further their studies, earn more, speak one more language than HIM, have strong personalities (oh that old chestnut) and who are confident are deemed problematic and the issue turns from compatibility to compliance.
Some men get frightened and choke, they’ll tell you are very special, very clever, fantastic, and beautiful…by this time everyone is waiting for the BUT……“you have too much life experience” and there it is. Is that euphemism for old bag? I wonder...
Now, we’re overqualified for men as well as jobs.
As a result, women turn to SWANS (not the feathery type) - Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse. They reach what we call plight of the high- status woman, women at the top who seem to have it all. Widely successful career, high flying lifestyles, great physical attributes (acquired naturally or otherwise), health and blinding social lives but remain poor to average on the romantic scene.
Everyone seems to instinctively know this, but do you ever stop to think why?
It’s almost as though men deliberately choose less androgynous, less successful, weaker and less independent women to prove to the SWANS they can’t have everything after all.
It is also a known fact that men compete with women at work and seem to think that is enough, at home they would prefer someone easy, less challenging and right down sedentary, to share their lives with, make babies and generally get bored together.
If you think this is crazy, wait for this, in 2004, researchers at the University of Michigan published a study in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour, which, loosely summarized, found that the men in their sample prefer to marry a woman whom they considered to be a subordinate, rather than a woman they considered to be a superior or a peer.
So what makes you ‘wife material’ you ask? Well it all depends on the guy, obviously what makes you wife material in India doesn’t apply to America, France or Algeria (in Algeria they call it the Kriti Bezzaf syndrome*), though what these men do have in common is that most (some) of them are looking for women to play fetch for them, pundits claim there are definite types of women that men marry and being too successful, independent and feisty aren’t some of them. In this supposedly egalitarian age, is there truly such a thing as ‘wife material’? Too independent and free, intelligent, too sexy, too attractive, everything is preceded by a “too” or a “very”, as if you one of the criteria to being ‘wife material’ is being average across the board.
Stern stuff. Perhaps on some deep, evolutionary level, men probably believe the strong, independent, successful, sexy woman will probably not stick around, will never settle for him and/or is deemed a threat. It all sounds a bit schizophrenic, when a men’s manhood is threatened and insecurities are awaken, an analytical mind will be seen as difficult, the sensitive soul will be seen as weak and a sexy woman is seen as a whore.
On the other hand, very accomplished women often have high expectations, some of which are not wholly realistic and often chosen to match the women’s status and accomplishment which only makes their acceptable dating/marrying pool even narrower.
Now we get to the Independence Conundrum; the term 'Success' is nebulous and is not necessarily related to independence, some men reiterate that ‘Successful’ means she has earned her independence. As much as feminists would probably hate me for it, I'll have to agree but insist this is simply applicable to men as is it to women.
Being this feminazi, independent, successful woman seems to have become the source of every single woman’s predicament, as it seems men conscientiously or unconscientiously through their choices continue to reject the idea of a super woman and what we thought was our strength becomes in fact nooses around our necks.
So what next? How to tackle this schism? Would you ask women to yield? Women who have come to believe that marriage is a modern slave trade, woman who believe that men are the enemy, women who convinced themselves that man is obsolete and women who have perhaps aged a bit, lost hope and found it convenient to think the above and blame it on ‘success’. Am I the devils advocate? perhaps.
After reading the above, you’re probably waiting for the answer, well, sorry to disappoint you ladies, I reckon just loose a couple of pounds, take the time to be honest with yourself to understand exactly what you are projecting and understand that although you CAN do it all alone, it doesn’t mean you have it and women who are single by choice, yes that may be so, but is it yours (choice)?
Whilst SOME of the above may sound like it was forged in the blazing flames of bra-burning feminism; that is not the subtext. It is really all about finding me a boyfriend.
Dz-Chick…an ambivalent feminazi!
* you've studied too much syndrome - of course I made this up!
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