Saturday 26 May 2012

You love to hate me!

Upon another day in London;

Weather uncharacteristically nice which is scary, my Algerian mentality makes me fear what comes next, because in Algeria you never get anything for nothing, if it gets hot, everybody braces themselves for the earthquakes, and if the government does something good for the people, they’re up to something and usually, it’s not good. In London, when it gets hot, you'll get to see a lot of cellulite and giblets and wish it had rained instead.

But I don’t mind so much now, since my hands are full with dire finances, an inexistent love-life and a totally uninspiring job. Was whingeing about this to my friend who said there are three things he hates the most: His cousin Othman, Al khorchaf (some kind of veg) and Friday afternoons.

I warned him my “hate” list would be much more extensive, but he insisted, he wanted to know; you didn’t, but you’re here now, so you might as well know about it and making lists is good for you (they I say)!

1- I hate a job where the glass ceiling is just another thing for women to clean.
2- I hate that I haven’t had a boyfriend in what seems like forever, seriously what gives! Might even change my blog title to just “a girl in London”
3- I hate people who point at their wrists when they’re asking for the time! I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours!
4- The combination of these 2 words “chocker block”, hate it with passion!
5- Sanctimonious people who say things like: “don’t hate, hate is a waste of emotion”
6- When you are pouring your eyeballs out and someone asks you “are you all right?” well obviously I am all right, these are tears of joy you dimwit!
7- People who start their sentences with “promise me something” I ain’t promising nothing mate!
8- The fact I feel the need to say sorry about a hundred times day, especially when 90% of the time, it’s not even my fault.
9- People who snitch! nothing worse than a snitch
9 - Angry people who make hate lists.
10 - And while we’re at it – I despise the weather because I am stuck indoors…

Ok time out people – I was just told off by a couple of friends for writing a hate list when it’s such a beautiful day out and they’re all happy and mushy inside (from too much heat undoubtedly), I tried explaining how hate lists are funnier but I am being made to write about love!

Hmmmmm….Love!! hmmmmm

I love my blog?
I love my daddy? Ooh oh I love Ice-cream?

Screw it, writing about love is for sissies and first time novelists. I leave thee with my hate list. As for you other haters, don’t hate me take the main point and move on...until the next post!

Dz-Chick…foul mood is back on. Rejoice!


  1. Lol @ I haven’t had a boyfriend in what seems like forever, Might even change my blog title to just “a girl in London”


  2. I love Khorchaf!! Tell you're friend that his a loser for not loving it ;)
    I really thought your list would be much longer!

  3. Blue hate lists can go on for kilometres if you let yourself get carried away! Give us a snippet of yours for a laugh! My favourites remain my friends': "cousin Othman, al khorchaf and Friday afternoons"

    I also hate jebba Fergani...

  4. Ha ha ha @my cousin Othman, al khorchoff and Friday afternoon! Freaking hilarious because it's so true.

  5. I agree with Blue, your list is far too short, effective and enough random vitriol, but short. All the luvvie duvs are going to thing the world is alright. They need to be overwhelmed. You've inspired me to do one on Korea.

  6. formosa, you would love t0 be a lovey dovey.

    blue, do you ever turn red?

  7. BB - do you think it is worthwhile to have a go at the luvvie duv world? It tried it before but the when a girlfriend laughed at the stuffed teddy bear and the Hello Kitty on my rucksack zip, I figured it was time to toughen up.

  8. @Dz-Chick: You don't want to hear mine, you would have nightmares!

    @BB: In fact I do but only when I eat jalapeño. Any other question?!

    @formosa: "a teddy bear and the Hello Kitty on your rucksack zip"?? seriously?! That's not toughening up, that's growing up!! ;)

  9. I hate :
    - Shaving everyday,
    - going to the hairdresser (douze mille tahfifa),
    - wearing loafers,
    - ironing my clothes,
    - eating standing,
    - beginning the day without a cup of coffee (even shity, even cold),
    - going out without sunglasses,
    - phone calls before 10 AM,
    - girls with fine ass wearing large pants,
    - girls with ugly ass wearing tight pants,
    - pretty girls who doesn't look at me (especially when I'm not at my best),
    - beggara driving nice cars,
    - beggara wearing nice suits,
    - to make it short : everthing nice a beggar can afford I cannot,
    - Sidi Yahia,
    - Club des Pins,
    - expensive socks (why the hell are people buyin such stuff??),
    - touchscreen phones (no matter iPhones or Androidphones, etc.),
    - Paco Rabanne fragrances,
    - Algerians,
    - Anti-algerians,
    - mayonnaise,
    - guys who harass girls,
    - girls who does'nt harass me,
    - facebook,
    - Boumediene enthusiasts,
    - house music,
    - stubborn salafis,
    - niqab,
    (to be continued)

  10. I hate:
    -Going to work everyday
    -waking up early
    -Going out
    -People who judge (me)
    -New tech (phones, cameras..)

  11. Haha haha Homo Erectus You have issues, i love it, You verge on the neurotic side a bit like me. My list was small and interrupted by lovey Dovey for the exact reason you demonstrated above... So we get to hear your crazies!

    Ceci dit: great and extensive list! :)
    I hate Paco Rabane fragrances - 10/10
    Beggars etc .... 12/10
    iPhone etc .... You're just jealous! I'll give you 2/10

    Anyone hates emoticons? :) :( :p

    formosa Can't wait to read your Korean version, post in on here when it's done.

    Blue try me! :)

  12. I hate is:
    -Waking up in the morning
    -Sleeping at night
    -Not having two sets of weekends(one for the chores, the other to enjoy the weekend)
    -I hate Algerians too (too pretentious)
    -The know it all (usually Algerians)
    -Dunkin' Donuts (shitty food)
    -McDonalds (same shitty food)
    -Not being able to say what I think of those who deserve to hear it(I will at some point)
    -Not being able to attend family celebrations :(
    -The school system in Algeria(I still remember my 1st grade teacher and I’m still having nightmares)
    -Aging (what’s wrong with forever young!!!)
    -Having hair (in undesirable places)
    -Not having the courage to shave my head bald
    -Plastic cutlery (it doesn’t feel like real food when eating with it)
    P-eople who eat in the subway
    -People who over wear perfume(especially when it’s cheap ones)

    Not done yet...

  13. Why did I put a "is" after the word "hate"?!!
    I hate..Typos!!!

  14. Hahaha no iPhone complex believe me.. if Apple launches a phone with full azerty (or qwerty) physical keyboard, that would be great, as i'm a Blackberry and Nokia E series user..
    Blue, your hate list made you lose your grammar or what ?

  15. Homo Etectus You're a guy with 2 phones ha ha gotcha!

  16. Oh I'm sorry you're wrong I'm not ! I was just telling you about the phones I had, the four or five last years !

  17. By request...
    In reverse order, the all-time, top ten perversely hated things in Korea:

    10 Fashion. From overdone eye-lashes, skirts above the crotch, foppish hair and straw hats, to imitation doll outfits. I never thought I would say it but I miss Goth. The streets of Seoul are literally covered with the half rotted bodies of fashion victims. The only pleasure I have is that they take soooo many pictures of themselves - when they hit 52 they are going to be so embarrassed.

    9 yapping miniature crazed dogs. Korean (and Japanese) girls love them. I just don't get it.

    8 political anthems played over piece-of-shit loudspeakers at 8am. Don't these right wing and left wing idiots know their inspiring, rabble rousing songs sound exactly the each others'?

    7 Men in the vicinity of elevators (lifts to you and I). Korean men waiting for a lift, stand with 1 cm of separation of their nose to the door that is about to open. So when it does, the people in can't get out and the man who is out can't get in. You'd think after the first thousand times he'd figure it out.

    6 Mirror watchers. The worst are the mid-teen to mid twenties girls. Seeing them pass a mirror, even in a public place, is like waving a vial of pure heroin in front of a lifetime addict.

    5 Hair touchers. I wrote about this curious Korean-only phenomena in my blog. Its there, it continues, it is just the weirdest thing I have ever seen. There are variations in many other countries (hair flips, preening, etc) but Korean Hair Touching is unique. (Hint to all women everywhere: if you want to appear attractive to men, stop playing with your hair! )

    4 Walking like you own the world. Korean men again primarily, like the lift. This road is mine and you don't exist. Therefore I will walk straight at you. Variations on this include the entire rest of the population who walk around with a smartphone attached to their eyes.

    3 Lost Taxi drivers who seem to misunderstand the function of the accelerator pedal. Everyone I have spoken to mentions this about Korean taxi drivers. They have no idea where they are going and what's up with their right leg? Constantly tapping and moving the accelerator pedal so that you have multiple whiplash injuries by the time you arrive. The best ever example is from the film 'Night on Earth' with Wynona Ryder (and others). Helmut the taxi driver (he's German in in Brooklyn but the principle is the same).

    2 Pickles and vinegar. Every meal in every restaurant in Korea for 18 months has felt the need to put pickles in front of me. And drown whatever food I have in vinegar. It's an omelet - it doesn't need a pickle in it and it surely doesn't need to sit in a little pool of vinegar.

    1 Kim-chee. Geez, get a life Korea. Sweet mother of god, it's boiled cabbage, left to rot for a bit in chilli sauce, it is not a gourmet food. Why does everyone go on about this so much. Every foreigner gets asked a million times, 'So... what do you think of Kim-chee?' with a gleeful smile. Of all the stimulating things to put in one's mouth, this has to be the least interesting.

  18. @Homo Erectus: That's all you have to say about my hate list...Pfff, let me add one more then...

    I hate Homo Erectus' lack of imagination..Ha! :p

  19. We have a winner...Formosa that is with his Hate list!!
    That is a real hate list..Wow..and I'm sure you're not done yet!!

    With the "Kim-chee", the "hair touchers" and "the pickles and vinegar in every meal" I had a really good laugh!!

  20. Love it formosa!

    I love that I bring out the haters in all of you! ha ha

  21. @ Dz chick haa aa aaa a ha.

    am a lover not a hater so here's my list:


  22. Boussi Boussa been attending any Amyhony Robins seminars lately? Huh you weirdo!

  23. Can't see BB list!!!

  24. Thsts because there isn't one!

  25. Very disappointing!!!!

  26. Actually I find what Boussi Boussa did very funny ! It's kind of a dada humor !

  27. @Homo Erectus: Of course you my comment addressed to you further up!!! :P

  28. I forgot to ask you, Blue, after I read the "Having hair (in undesirable places)" point : do you have moustaches ?

  29. @Homo Erectus: This, on the other hand, is very funny!! And NO I dont have a moustache!! :p

  30. @Homo Erectus: This, on the other hand, is very funny!! And NO I dont have a moustache!! :p

  31. Why twice?! Weird!!!

  32. hair on your breast, Blue ? shoulders ? back ? everywhere else, it's just pretty normal.. and sometimes, a little bit is recommanded..

  33. Am I really talking about my undesirable hair with you Homo Erectus!! Drop it ok...and go back to my hate list and pick something else!! :P

  34. (what a bossy girl, Blue !)...

  35. Thanks for the compliment Homo Erectus...I'm trying my best to be less nice and it works..I guess?!

  36. Yeah.. I'm falling in love..

  37. Well...I haven't asked for that much but why not!! ;) I'll keep up with that "bossy" side of me since it's working ;)

  38. You two having fun?
    I hate hairy blondes who think it's ok to walk around with taches and hairy legs because they think we can't see them!

    Or men who don't feel the need to shave... Well .. Anything!

  39. I don't know about him but I definitely am :D
    Oh yes we can see them hairy blond legs!!

    Men have to shave...Men need to shave...Men, for god sake SHAVE and as Dz-chick said...shave.."Anything"!

  40. It's ok to shave anything.. as long as there's an after-shave..

  41. Are you talking about the regular lotion after-shave or another kind of after-shave?! would you clarify.

  42. I'm talking about an after-shave party..

  43. protein.

  44. That's what I thought Homo Ecxcitus!! ;)

  45. you see, Blue, we're mind-connected.. And I hope you know how to temper your bossiness in some occasions, and just let yourself go with the flow..

  46. Why don't you two get a room and call it a day!

  47. you know blue babes she loves it in the open and won't turn red.

  48. "Tempering my bossiness" is my other nickname!!

  49. Thank you to Blue (& DZ ) for declaring me the winner of Hate Lists. It is an honour, I'd like to thank my parents, my 5th grade piano teacher, etc etc without whom...

    But how could I have won this when I forgot the Ultimate, Pinnacle, All-Powerful aggrevation item for Korea? The Zero-th item on the list is:
    Korean Men with Sinus and Spitting Issues.
    What made me think of this is an evening in the airport business class lounge. Of course there are no women. 30 men all coughing, in-snork-breathing and even loud spitting noises (coming from the toilet area). It is so disgusting.

    DZ... have you ever thought about dating a Korean man?

  50. A Korean man... Hmmm well from what you describe I wouldn't dream of it ...somehow Korean men don't strike me as the prototype I am looking for!
    Pst: been attending diplomatic lessons


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