Thursday 8 March 2012
We girls love a bit of drama; we create it, crave it, we thrive on it. Very lucky few are drama-free. I am of course; a major drama queen but not very proud of it, although it could be endearing to a very crazy few, I myself rarely find it funny and more often than not, will try to share my issues with my male friends more than with girls, in an attempt at soaking up that drama-free attitude and dismissing none-issues with a shrug of the shoulders.
Girls are saved for the days when I am not prepared to snap out of it and the need to dwell on things is ever present, so my girlfriends will listen to my non-issue issues and cry outrage and disgust, fuelling my already high emotions, I weep, their eyes water a little, we group hug, share a drink, a cigarette or chocolate cake and call everybody a bastard, men, bosses, men and that annoying paper boy with his City AM, shoving it in my face EVERY morning!
Oh my god, Sara didn’t put a kiss on her last text to me, do you think she hates me?
My boss didn’t make eye contact with me this morning, am getting fired aren’t I?
I have an itchy left boob, do you think I have cancer?
I though we really hit it off, why didn’t he text me, it’s been an hour already!
Don’t you just love to indulge your cravings for drama? It’s a way of shaking things up when life is a little dull, this Catastrophising makes you feel alive, drives away boys and keeps you young or at least juvenile, but a life without drama is not a life worth living. Say AMEN.
Now as a major drama queen who once cried (with tears and everything) out of fear of a cockroach, I shouldn’t be saying the following but I feel I need to balance it out a little and give you ways to avoid being a hypochondriac, a drama queen or a bitch…
- When you feel a drama moment arising, only hang out with boys, you’ll soon feel ridiculous
- Think of the worst that could happen: if a guy doesn’t text you, just think he might have died of Co2 poisoning in his bathtub or has tripped on his oversized ego and fell into his empty hole of a soul – harsh? Nonsense, it’s wickedly therapeutic.
- “sniff sniff everything happens to me, the only skirt left is a size 8 and doesn’t fit by big bum” …. Context it all and think of someone you know who has cancer or hasn’t had a job in five years! You’ll soon resize your problems appropriately and snap out of your short lived drama
- Do try to snap out of it quickly by crying it out, if you can’t, then you may lash out at your close friends, they’ll take it, especially the boys, tears always confuse them.
- Do not listen to melancholic music that pushes you further into self-pity, like Adele and what not, on which let me tell you, she should have told them all to jog on but no fingers required! I was quite disappointed in her diva attitude; she’s another drama queen you see…
- Don’t go through your whole contact list and call them one by one, in search of more pity and attention – it gets tedious and I will be washing my hair.
- And remember boys almost all prefer drama-free…
The point of this post you ask? Well it’s a funny story really… Sara does hate me, I might actually be fired and there is a lump in my breast. The only non dramatic thing is that guy did text after an hour and half and I decided I didn’t like him.
Dz-chick…a big drama mama!
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