Tuesday 14 February 2012

Cupid has flown the co-op!

A seemingly easy topic to tackle, yet it took me several attempts to merely start this post, so many angles!
I have no feuds with celebrating love or even that little brat Cupid and it has nothing to do with the fact that I am single, so let’s make that clear.

My issue is more with the hundreds of couples that seem to have formed overnight, walking around town with a smug look on their faces, playing tonsil tennis on the streets, flaunting their “love” and their “in a couple” status. And when you cross their paths you have to wait for them to walk first because the pavement is not big enough for them and their love and you’re only a single person, you are nothing to them, a pest, and a waste of space. Today they do not envy your freedom.

This “couple” status that seems to give them the permission to take over the place with their balloons, chocolates, cards and public displays of affection, flowers everywhere, on the train, in the office, it’s their day, if you’re single (have flower allergies) It’s best if you stay home and out of their way, you’re merely an inconvenience, the town belongs to them, life belongs to them today.

Have you tried booking a table for dinner? IF you get through the busy line and manage to get a table for 10pm near the toilets, you’ll have to eat the Valentines set menu with heart shaped deserts and love potion chicken soup and other sappy romantic whatnots.

I give up – Chinese takeaway tonight it is.

Cupid did not strike this year, maybe he misfired his arrow and got himself in the ass! Or one would hope, but from all the love that seems to be spreading around the world, I’d say well done Marketing geniuses, you have truly done it.

How can people readily fall into these obvious traps and go ahead purchasing millions of pounds worth of perishable rubbish to commemorate a day (and presumably their love for each other) invented by marketers to help their clients craft targeted campaigns to take full advantage of the gift-buying frenzy, making it second to Christmas spending-wise.

I understand why there is no “I am single and loving it day”, single people are more cynical and think more clearly, their judgments are not clouded by love fumes etc, where’s the business genius in that! hmmmm
Actually…..that’s not a bad idea! I call dibs!

Oscar Wilde said “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”
so before pretending to love someone else and showering them with confectioneries and material possessions because of an ancient roman religious man called Valentine who may or may not have been gay or because of a couple of TV adverts brainwashing you into conditional loving, learn to love yourself (not in that way you pervs) and spend the evening with friends or yourself doing something fun or interesting but do not engage any couple you may pass on the street or the bar, do not wish anyone a happy Valentines day and for gods’ sake don’t cry about being single, because today is actually your day not theirs, they are the clowns who are being bled, pressured into spending their hard earned cash in silly chocolate boxes, silly red cards and lingerie, you’re single and in control of your cash, time and feelings, all year long.

Dz-chick…bring on the 15th Feb!


  1. It's the women's fault! The men go along with it because they don't want to end up in the doghouse! If you had a husband, would you let him go bowling with his buddies on 14th February?

  2. I so would! I had a boyfriend once or twice you know and I forbade him from falling into the trap! But people won't understand how I could let him off, so again going back to people's perceptions and pressures...

  3. Et za3ma t'as jamais fĂȘtĂ© la Saint-Valentin ? :)

  4. Although your jokes are so funny :) there is a feeling that you pushed it a bit too much, to the extent where we sense 'jealousy' in ur writing today.

    Today is their day, eat it ;)


  5. S was badgered into it by my ex boyfriend because he believed that when a women says No she really means Yes!

    Delboy wasnt trying to be funny
    And just because you're happy in love doesn't mean anyone who isn't or is critical of Valentines is being jealous!
    I think it might be you who has pushed it far in your attempt at being critical ... As always!
    Hope you have a great evening with your special someone.

  6. Valentine's Day!! What a joke!! I never liked this day (with or without a special on); it is maybe the fault of not-wanting to conform to the majority’s perception and understanding of love and being in a relationship. It is expected, when you’re in a relationship, to receive flowers and chocolate on that particular day; don’t you want girls to be surprised? I mean really surprised in an original way!! The girl next to you at the restaurant is getting the same damn things (flowers and chocolate) maybe earrings as well. But then what’s to be glad about?! Seriously!!! I would rather stay home with my special one watching TV and cuddle and maybe more if the mood permits which it usually does in that kind of situation:)or just spend a regular day. And why is always the guy the one who gives the flowers and the girl who receives it with an awkward smile? Why do girls put weight on guys that particular day? Also, can anyone explain why people (my girl friends for that matter) who are not your (my) special one send a “Happy valentine’s day” txt messages that you can’t ignore and send back- almost in agony- just because you don’t want to be rude, a “happy valentine’s day to you too” txt msg ? Why? Do I know you that way? Have I ever slept with you or anything in that nature? I don’t see jealousy in here but originality.

  7. DZ,

    I kind of agree w/ Delboy here...your humour is priceless as usual, but your cynicism is a bit excessive. The marketing people always win..mothers day, fathers day, secretary day, boss' day etcc

    Do motherless people complain in Mothers day when families take mothers around in malls, parks, restaurants? I never hear people complain "Oh the commercialization of Mums day is profane".

    As much as couples ought to appreciate and celebrate each others without the marking of a "special day" on the calendar (and on retailers' bottom line), it's not such a bad idea for couples to have an excuse to treat each other w/ a little extra here and there.

    I do agree the commercialization tends to be a little too drastic and some couples feel pressured, but if you have "someone", then it's just another occasion for romance, gifts, or extra/more affection.

    Delboy wrote a one-liner and he was accused of pushing too far... I can only imagine what you think of these paragraphs :)

    Happy February 15th

  8. You started the post on a positive note and then it went downhill from there. We can sense your frustration babe. It's alright, we know it's hard...I totaly agree with you that V-day is bull crap. I would say hate the game not the player. My partner doen't get anything and she is cool with it. She eats chocolate all year long.

    I hope those basterds you saw today will be miserable for the rest of the year! hahaha...will that make you happy?


  9. Blimey! Rough pic of Cupid you featured up there, poor baba! So much violence in this world, love being the first to be cut-throated - or back-arrowed - always.

    For a long time I felt as you describe, with all the excessive cynicism and undercurrent relative jealousy contained in your post (I do agree with Delboy and Here&Amp :-) ). But then this year I really really wanted to have someone bringing me tribute (a kinder egg …) to my door or mail box. Being single, I set about batting my eyelids all around and managed to catch in my net two maniacs and a quieter psycho-dingo. Which one should I request a kinder egg from I thought, with all the risk of getting axed-murdered after eating my chocolate. Then I realised that what I was after was the gift, the gesture. And what brings one closer to the gift but the money to buy the gift? So I worked two shifts on the 14th instead proofreading (the equivalent of getting paid for doing Where’s Wally all day), fantastic date, had a ball, and I’ll be able to afford an entire Cleopatra’s bath worth of milk choc. So marketing is beginning to work on me, ok. But jokes aside and the material-pressure aspect too, looking on year in year out how much blood, murder and misery there is going around, celebrating love, or falling in love, doesn’t seem such a bad idea after all (with someone at marketing reworking the angle).


  10. I had to read my post again to verify your claims at hints of jealousy in my writing! I sincerely see none!
    I am a bit harsh yes, but jealous, I assure not. If I was I would laugh and say “damn it yes I am green with envy”
    Couples can celebrate their love anytime and I am all for that, I always find it lovely to see a couple in love, what I am referring to is the smugness on the specific day of Valentines, You all missed the point, I too was in a relationship (one upon a long time ago) and I refused to fall into the trap, he insisted on the presents and the card because he thought I was just saying no but I really meant “if you don’t do it right – you’re out in the doghouse)
    BlueI know what I am getting you for your birthday ;)

    Here & There
    Thanks re: Humour etc
    All these occasions you mention are being over marketed and turned into a spending-holiday, these mothers day, fathers day, valentines day and even Women’s day (which I also annihilated in here: http://www.dz-chick.com/2011/03/happy-international-womens-day.html) are lovely in principal until they turn into a liability, that is what my feud is with.
    I am all for celebrating love, I hope I am not coming across as a bitter, jealous, loveless witch J I just don’t want to be told when and how to do it. I am an anti-conformist.
    As for Delboy he  knows why he got that response! I hope his dinner went nicely as planned – NOT LOL
    Maricani I hope I answered your comments above, to the contrary, I hope all the loved up couples out there had a brilliant time but hopefully are done trying to celebrate love with material possessions and in ways that are dictated to them, turning the whole day into a completion of who got more and who spent more.
    NG I love this picture of Cupid – its funny how we don’t see him as a cute toddler which essentially is what he is depicted as, as soon as those wings go on he turns into my nemesis.
    I am again trying to understand how it is that I came across as jealous, perhaps the core message didn’t come through the cynicism.
    To summarise: Anti-conformist, anti-consumerism, a believer in love but does not believe that Love has to be flaunted for other peoples benefits only that of the loved one.

  11. Nah.. I disagree with Del and H&T, love your cynicism, give me more! You haven't put it on thick enough yet!
    It has to be like peanut butter on a thick slice of white bread - sticks to the roof of your mouth and can make you choke if you eat too quickly. That's cynicism that is worthwhile. The crap in this life will never clear out until more cynics speak up. Go Girl!!

    And yes, I also think VD is something best avoided. However, that being said, last night I had a choice between working from 7pm until 11pm doing a survey and installation of equipment in an engine factory while the shift was on a break, OR go out to a really nice restaurant with someone who wanted to try out a new frock in a suitable setting. Guess what I did...

    So yes, it is crap but I'm not going to vote to abolish VD until it has an equivalent 'any-excuse-for-a-party' substitute.

  12. BTW.... really loved the photo :-) A bit more blood would have been nice.

  13. formosa Cynicism is good, it’s my side-kick, without it I have nothing, nothing I tell ya!
    Glad to hear you had a good time last night. I have an issue (one of many I think) with going out on Valentines night to dinner in a nice dress and heels with a rose and a man in my arm, I feel the waiters are mocking us, the whole world is mocking us, whispering “suckers” to each other, we can celebrate and have fun at home too or any other day but the 14th Feb.
    Nobody wants to boycott? You bunch of conformists
    Ps: Photos is 1st class I though too…yeah some blood would have been perfection.

  14. That is one brilliant blog!

  15. Birthday you said?!! A present?!! What is it?!! lolll

  16. I see what you mean, waiters are like the chorus in an ancient Greek tragedy. Every single delicate, judgement-call decision we make, hoping for a little leeway from the cosmos, gets caught by waiters being Life's linesmen, with loud whistles stuck in their mouths that they only take out to smirk. Over 79% of the world's waiters have to have a day's leave on the 15th - they need to relax their jaw muscles after hours of smug smirking.

    However, that being said, the bulk of the issue you mention rests with the choice of a rose. Unless you plan to eat it, never (never I tell ya) take a rose to a restaurant date.

  17. Thanks Rachael

    Blue a box of diazepam ;)

    Formosa what if I meet him at the restaurant and he's got a rose for me!! What do I do with it? Eat it? It wouldn't be my choice to take it out with me like a clutch bag or anything :)

  18. Tell him he's dumped. It's best that way. Bullet to the centre of the forehead. Hand the rose back and find the nearest shawarma place.

  19. Sounds like a plan! WHEN he shows up!

  20. Dz-chick- That was harsh and unjustified!! Was it meant to be funny? If so, I didnt get the joke!

  21. Oh my god Blue! Take a joke!! Lol
    It was funny actually... You know! Relax kind of thing!

  22. Well then I guess I need that f***ing box of Diazepam !! Loll!! Notice the “lol” meaning I’m laughing!! Haha! :)

  23. Glad to see that Blue :) I need a ton of it I tell ya!

  24. Loved it! Especially the final part: clowns...
    I actually was on the 14 leaving the office when I stared at a guy with 30 roses, standing embarrassed at a bus stop, by -14 celcius, and said to myself : "espece de Clown"

    Haha, thank you Lady. You have the power to put word on our thoughts.

    Have a wonderful 17/02


  25. You're welcome :P

    I am enjoying the rest of February now...until next year! or the next rant!

  26. I did the flower thing when I wanted to show off.
    Nowadays it is more like expensive empty treats.

    To make myself feel better about being single the rest of the year.

    Yes baby you can have your cake and eat it.


  27. You mean to say that ATO the great is single???? Here I thought you were happy in love and all is dandy in ATO land!

    I always have my cake and eat it! Literally

    ;) easy Sunday to all

  28. Of course I am happy/lucky :)
    But on Valentine's day, it is a chance to make up for any time not spent with the other half. Time spent single, out with friends, you know necessary breathing time for the benefit of the relationship. What you call "Me first" time, or freedom time. Not impossible to both have a cake and eat it.

    I think Valentine came first and then the opportunists (fair game). Actually I don't care which one came first.
    It is like Christmas basically,you don't believe in it,it is just one of those welcomed occasions to celebrate something.
    At the end of the day it is also about stopping for a moment, and appreciating the other one. Life gets busy sometimes, and we sometimes need time aside to explicitly live something we have.


  29. @ Ato: You know, I like the way you explain it. I like the "Me first time" and the "stopping for a moment, and appreciating the other one". It all make sense when it's not about doing it because everyone else is doing so but making it your own and celebrating it in your own way. I like that approach!

  30. LMAO,personnaly I don't feel jealousy just an woman exhausted by fakes lovers.

    I rarely feel close to girls ,but youuuuuu I sincerly love ya :)

    Damn conformism

    ps: very interesting blog

  31. ATO a very different approach yes, it's sounds almost too healthy and normal for you ;) but hey we a grow up and wise up! I like you better this year, something has changed with you ... Keep that up!

    Farasha you may call yourself an insignificant insect but you have an undeniable effect "the butterfly effect" and you can be beautiful... But that sounds too cheesy for me, so an gonna stop now!
    Thx for the love love and the nice comment and support! Yeah am not bloody jealous you egits I am just .... Well Dz-Chick :) you know what I don't get a lot of DZ girls either but that's a different subject all together and I always remain supportive and fraternal! Hmmm I feel a blog post coming....

  32. When I was younger (hum) I always thought that "cupid" in english was an adjective like in french.. I suppose at a certain level I was not so wrong !

  33. I always thought he was a baby with wings and no common sense! I think I prefer your "description"
    By the way. Somebody has been stalking you, in my searched under key words I found: dz-chick homo Erectus comments and the same for Chatnoir :)
    Ana nbaya3!

  34. Chatnoir (a smart and funny guy) said in a comment "chez Mina" that many readers suspected him of being Homo Erectus.. I took it as a compliment.. Now my comments are stalked in research engines.. Well I guess it's the beginning of glory and a long career of "chick's blog commentator".. Maybe I'll even launch a cologne and after-shave branded "Homo Erectus" to make some cash !
    Merci pour la bouteille, baya3a !

  35. I have actually been dating a girl for years now and she doesn’t expect any of that on Valentine’s Day anymore. When we first started going out, she use to be so mad at me that we brook up with the argument being that I am insensitive and unthoughtfull. Being from Belcourt, I never use to do any of that and I always forget. I even forget her birthdates as well and that almost always results in a big fight and a break up. I didn’t care because she always comes back and apologizes and get over it. Now, one may say that I trained her good and she never expects anything on any date. However, being the good guy that I am; I sometimes surprise her with a gift or take her out for dinner to a fancy restaurant.

  36. @Anonymous: Que c'est mignon!!(how cute is that!!)..."I didn’t care because she always comes back and apologizes and get over it", now that's a real man who doesn't play little games with a little spoiled girlfriend!!! And I love that part too "I trained her good", how sensitive and tactful that comment is!! Now I bet she's not reading your posts cuz otherwise you'll be sleeping in the doghouse!!! Keep it up and then let us know when and how she dumped you!!

  37. Homo Erectus Sounds like a brilliant idea, they’re all at it, I’d buy it!
    Really don’t see how you and Chatnoir could be perceived as the same person…from what I read in both your comments and Chatnoir’s blog, you are not the same person! You’re not denying it though are you!!
    Anonymous from Belcout You sound like a regular guy to me! If she’s willing to accept it, who am I judge you or her! I gave that up ages ago along with the hope to meet a nice bloke!

  38. so, did you propose?

  39. They all freaked out for some reason!! Strange really!

  40. Leap year this year.
    Men should hide.


  41. Wrote something yesterday about Leap Year day but didn't publish it!

  42. Please do.
    I look forward to hear your thoughts on the subject DZChick


  43. But I can't back date! It's too late ATO! I will see what I can do though

  44. But, you said you had met the love of your life in a comment to the Polish girl. What happened to him? another Polish girl swept him off his feet! No!

    I like your honesty in th blog and your style in writing..but not all the arguments you use to justify why you are still single. I know I am not in your shoes, having been married for six years now, but even when I was single, I did not always blame the other for being single. There are Algerian men out there, successful,good looking, intelligent, and have all (rather most, no man will have everything a woman wants, it is the nature of things) the attributes that a woman wants. I believe that fate has not put the right man in your path. It is not because Algerian men want submissive, 20 year olds. My sister married a good-looking, successful-from an excellent family and class- man at the age of 35. She had never had a suiter half-as-good looking as he is despite being blond, beautiful, and being called la fleur de son department a l'universite.

  45. Anonymous Thanks
    Yes I did and it didn’t work out...no Polish girl involved this time though :)
    I am always whining and whinging about being single yes, but I don’t really blame everyone else for it, I also blame my hormones and my neurosis and my damn “independence” and personality for it, amongst other things.
    I am sure there are a lot of very eligible Algerian men out there; I just haven’t met any of them or at least none who were interested in me.

  46. You will meet the right man for you; but don’t think that you have to have a trophy husband to show off because marriage is about much more than what people think of you. It is about you and him. There were times when I was single when I used to care about people’s perceptions of me and the man I would be with. I put all of that behind me now for I have learnt that pleasing people or trying to show to them that you have done well for yourself does not get you anywhere.
    Your blog is fun to read. You seem to have taken a different route to most of us Algerians who adore to talk about politics, and I salute you for this. This is not to say that I don't enjoy reading about politics, but it is refreshing to read something different.

  47. Thanks Anon. Maybe one day...

    You are absolutely right about the expectations from family and friends, you forget about what you want and focus on pleasing your family and friends...

    I am not much into politics, but i try to tackle different social and personal matters with a touch of anger, humour and fun...glad you enjoy it. I know I do :)


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