Wednesday, 15 April 2020

Confinement Diary - Day £$@£$$$%%%

That's like me...but sans ring! 

Was very much amused to read about the man arrested last week carrying about 60K worth of cocaine, he told the police he's a key worker....a sort of side-road pharmacist if you will.

I wish I was a key worker, I was deemed too weak to be a key worker, on account of my case of cancer! This cancer keeps getting in the way of my dreams.

So instead, I spend my days in front of a laptop pretending to work by responding YES and Kind regards, to 3 out of 70 emails a days.

I get changed every morning, I put on yoga leggings until about midnight then my pyjamas until noon the next day. I genuinely aim to brush my teeth as early as possible otherwise they're done for...

My hair gets brushed basically when I wash it, and if you know anything about women's hair, you know the frequency I mean here.

Think I can also feel my hymen growing back...which is very unsettling news indeed, I ain't going through that shit again! But to be fair, seeing as I am going to come out of this looking like a cave woman, I think we're all safe here.

Hoping to bring you glad tidings next time....until then, Stay safe!


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