Wednesday, 17 July 2013


Everybody in the office continue to be concerned about my lack of liquid ingestion, to the point of joking about my need to visit the bathroom, or rather lack of. What a liberty!!
Today I had my mid-year review at work, positive all around, great improvement since last year when I gave less of a shit, my boss thinks me capable of taking on more, in fact he used the word “increase your workload”  crazy anyone? Since it had been noted that I was seen on my mobile phone a couple of times and let’s not mention the blog, but that was blocked two years ago, for my own good they’ll have me believe. Ah if only I gave 2 shits about it!
At lunchtime (what lunchtime), I ventured out of the office to breath, away from this dust-filled, mite-infested, assumption-riddled office; but the sun was playing “you’re it” and I, not in mood for playing! Walked to the gym, had a shower and went back to the office, then somebody asked me if I was going to pray? Hello? Where did that come from?!
Me: “Do you believe in God?”
Idiot at work: euhhhhh “well yes , I do”
Me: “ok when was the last time you went to church”
Idiot at work: that’s a bit personal isn’t it?
Me: I rest my case.
Work has become like a minefield of religious policing and assumptions galore, if you leave your desk, you must be going to pray, everything you do, can be traced back to Ramadan, everything you wear, is due to Ramadan, if you’re reading a book, it can only be religious, if you’re wearing a skirt for a change, then it’s definitely Ramadan.
If you’re yawning, it’s Ramadan
If you’re sleepy, it’s Ramadan
If you’re quiet, it’s Ramadan
If you’re moody, it’s definitely Ramadan
If you talk on the phone, you’re talking about Ramadan
Enquiries are incessant, which can be nice if genuine, and as much as you love being the centre of …well everything, it gets a bit tedious, how many days now? Do you want a cup of …oh sorry! Is Ramadan Muslim? , You look tired, are you tired? Why do you fast*?
Sometimes, focused on a task or like me on a blog, you forget it’s even Ramadan, but they’re very quick to remind you, they want daily updates, they’ll ask the same questions over and over again, I find myself answering them whilst counting to ten, that’s talent right there!
Perhaps because some are curious, some try to be polite and some just don’t understand why you would freely** subject yourself to such cruelty, such pain and masochistic a ritual.
Damn you Channel 4 for announcing Ramadan! Why can’t they just ignore it like they do Shabbat hmm hmm? Why can’t they just leave it alone? Oh I know, because we’re practicing it on their turf! I read a very funny, to the point of ignorant comment this morning, explaining how it’s an aberration from Gods’ intention to punish Muslims for travelling too far north.
At work or anywhere else on this planet, if I don’t mention the word Ramadan, Ramadam, fasting, water or Hmmmm Coffee, then why should anybody feel the need to worry about my wellbeing, my starvation, my faith or lack of, equally for the self-righteous, the pious and the bored fasters who broadcast their practices to those who aren’t interested, haven’t you heard: Love, religion and salaries are private matters – get it and we’ll all live happy.

Dz-chick…if this sounds like déjà-vu, that’s probably ‘cos it is.
*why are you stupid?
** subject to terms country and conditions


  1. Ha ha ha love it! See you do deliver Dz-Chick! Stop being a big baby!

  2. Some muslims in the western countries are proud of all the "broadcasting" of their religion in TV, ads, etc. in Ramadan and think it's a mark of recognition while others just want islam to stay private and as exotic as say buddhism.. in the other hand this "recognition" occurs in a time where islamophobia is at its peak.. from my point of view this can lead to some more "misunderstanding" and muslims should stay discrete and pratice their religion smartly.. (but it's not the style of most of them, unfortunately)..

  3. anonymous you're the big baby!

    Homo Erectus I have to say, your English is impressive! I have to know how!!

    On the topic above, religion is private and at a time when Islamophobia is rife and gone global, people really shouldn't add fuel to the fire, standing their grounds?
    I am sick and tired of the stereotypes who are no longer stereotypes but facts and realities! Who to blame? There is no chicken nor egg! A cock maybe!!

  4. Yeah anonymous is right stop being a big fasting baby, and keep on delivering, 3 weeks left we need Pooooooosts. Speaking about ramadan, when the week finally passed I thought to myself that it was great, only THREE weeks left: Nervous Breakdown...

    Back to your post, I have to say that Everything is ramadan's fault even in here. he smashed his colleague's face with a sledgehammer? it's ramadhan, he didn't have his coffee this morning. She threw her sister from the window? it's Ramadan she doesn't appreciate people talking when she fasts...
    Concerning your coworkers it's simple, just tell them to mind their atheist/christian business, and everybody will be fine!

  5. M Kari The cock, the Coq! All the same! Guilty!

    El Hadra Ble$sh yes I will write more but it with be a diary! :/ pff

    It's easier said than done, nobody minds their own business, people like to busy themselves with other people's lives! Islam has become an international affair and it's almost as though they need to know, to keep taps on you, perhaps to be aware of things since its such a prominent topic and they want to be in the know! Either way koul wahed ychouf yemmah!
    The end!

  6. Great article, extremely sarcastic & humorous, Dz Chick in all her splendour!! The title is very indicative of the content, love it. Punch line: 'love, religion and salaries are private matters', quote-worthy! ★★★★★

  7. Oh thank you for the nice words about my english ! I'm affraid under my fingers, "la langue de Shakespeare" seems a bit tame and laborious ! While your english is fizzy, spicy and juicy.. A true "algerian" english I'm always delighted to read..

  8. hello DZ chick thank you for this post. I have to tell you that each Ramadan I introduce your blog to more and more of my friends because you write about more general topics than the rest of the year. So please keep posting thanks.

    At work yesterday:
    colleague: you join us for lunch?
    me: no thank you, I have an appointment outside
    colleague: ;) I got it! you will be out everyday for lunchtime during Ramadan, but tell me that you allow yourself drinks/eating during the day?
    me: yes don't worry
    colleague: ha ok this is great. I guess it is only people practicing strictly Islam that totally forbid themselves to drink or eat smthg...
    me: exactly...

    Voila! Dz CHick this is my everyday talk with my colleagues at work. My advice is to comfort people and help them categorize you. I guess it is more acceptable to work with a moderate muslim that is practicing lightly than an "islamist"
    I feel that it is useless to debate at work with your coworker about the spirituality of ramadan since they have never tried once in their life to deprive themselves of anything.

    PS: next week I plan to answer that I am on medical diet because of my stomach. we will see if it is more acceptable than Ramadan.


    1. Don't worry,
      people seem to be concerned with what you do whatever the place you live in.
      Living in France, I myself experienced funny reaction from people.
      Once a colleague of mine saw me having a Pizza " ... Ah you don't fast lake others ...",
      And a fellow countryman added "... oh, you see you must do that on medical advice, don't you ...".
      Me: " .. no I do it on my advice ..."
      Comme dit la chanson de Brassens, "Les braves gens n'aiment pas que l'on suive une autre route qu'eux"
      Be happy.

  9. "Not even water" but that can't be right, surely you'll be dehydrated. No actually I have had about 3 glasses of water in the last month, I hate the stuff. But Ramadan, I get a good 1.5 litres a day!

    Concentration? What were you saying? Huh? It is exactly like 'baby brain'.

    Irritable? Not everyone. I know someone who fasts and they get the most amazing rage. They start fights, scream and swear. But hey, they didn't eat drink or smoke, so they still count their day. Riiiight.

    I guess if people don't understand something which is, let's face it pretty tough, they want to ask questions. It is SO annoying it is the same ones, like being pregnant and getting "do you know what you're having" [a baby], "Is it twins" [cheeky] "Can I touch the bump" [no]. An opportunity to educate perhaps?

    Maybe the next time someone recoils in horror at this supposed self flagellation you ought say "Dammit you're right, pass me the Evian" might shut em up!

    Saha Ftourek!

  10. Homo Erectus yes I understand it's an effort to have to write in English, but trust me you do very well! It's impressive!
    For me, well, thank you :) hchemt (not really)

    Ma_Tenssache thanks for sharing it, but I didn't understand, you share it more in Ranadan or during the rest of the year?

    Your office sounds mental, yes I think you're right about people wanting to make sure you're not an Islamist! Whatever!!
    I never comment on their pagan practices! I have little or no intrest in them, besides the customary wishes that go with, I go about my day as per normal.

    Anonymous yes of course it's an opportunity to educate, but it's a bit like thick pupils stuck in year one! Keep learning the same modules, they'll never advance enough to learn a full Sura!
    Now! Damn it pass me the Evian lol

  11. Toujours fidele au rendez vous! Saha Syamek ya lalla!!!


  12. It is recurrent, indeed, all these questions, inquiries and pseudo concerns about our (my fasting) from colleagues and acquaintances. “No I cannot drink any liquid either and no I’m not going to “die””, genius!!!

    “What’s the point of Ramadan?”; after being asked this question a gazillion times, I should have known better and recorded myself attempting to answer this, very pertinent, question so all I would have to do, when the next person, who’s too lazy to research it her/himself, would be to hit play and pretend I wasn't there when they feel offended from my oh-so-appropriate-behavior!

    I have close friends, on the other hand, who wish me a “Good Ramadan” and ask me when exactly Ramadan will be over (very practical friends) so I would get back to my social life. I also had regular text messages from close friends (Christians, and Jews) during the heatwave to make sure I was okay; that’s heartwarming, isn't it?

    I think that what the annoying ones want to get from you is the whining and self-pitying; I think they want you to hear from you that this religion of yours is “inflicting” this “starvation” on you so they would comfort themselves in this belief that in fact Islam is “not a peaceful” religion. They want to convince themselves that they are not biased but that it is Muslims themselves who admit to it.
    I do not indulge in these conversations of short-minded individuals anyway and neither should any of you; it would be a waste of time.

    Saha Ftourkoum,

  13. Nedjma95 oui c'est toi qui ne l'est pas!

    Blue an office full of captain obvious! How fascinating ha ha

    Last week I had to break my fast, for obvious reasons and I had a similar experience with work:
    "Oh my god what are you doing?"
    Me: having coffee you?

    "at this rate, you'll be going until Oct"
    Me: never you mind church boy!

    "you're not a good Muslim are you?"
    Me: No obviously not, now be a dear and make me a cup of tea

    "oh no more fasting, does that mean you're gonna get shit faced tonight?"
    Me: bite me

  14. @ Dz: What a dumbhead this person is! Sometimes I want to slap these idiots with there own hand!!

    Dz, any Eid cakes and cupcakes?


  15. Eid was better this year; I had a chance to gather with Algerian friends. It was fun! Thanks for asking :-)


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