Friday 10 June 2011

City girls don’t cry

A typical City office meeting, 90% male, 1% women, 9% hybrids, my presentation was not up to scratch as it didn’t cover certain aspects of the product lines and the quarterly results bla bla bla…
I acknowledge the feedback, hide my frustration, but because I am part of the hybrid breed, tears don't stream out at work, my colleague however, a male colleague naturally, teased me in front of everybody “Don’t cry about it now” knowing  full well that I am not the type to cry at work, his attempt at provoking an emotional reaction and embarass me infront of male colleagues,  succeeded, as I shot him a stare, and committed a faux pas, by expressing my feelings openly “Yeah I’ll need your handkerchief right after you’re done with it”  which is a pathetic response I must admit.

Such a reaction is considered assertive, brave and manly if it came from a man, but because it was a woman’s, it is deemed shocking, unstable, iratonale and aggressive, and the most damaging emotion at work being anger, which comes from the feeling of loosing control over a situation, has direct affect on our work and our relations with colleagues, so we have to control our anger, frustration, tears and pretend all is well whilst secretly hating a colleague or avoiding another, to do this, a lot of energy and a great deal of effort is required, often resulting  in stress, weariness and loss of concentration ergo loss of productivity, sick leave and effectively costing the company money.

But our society and Work ethics in general dictate we have to put on a mask at work to hide our emotions and personal feelings, to leave these at home.

Crying is considered unprofessional and has no place in the work place, women often retreat to their toilet cubicles to shed a few tears, retouch their concealers before putting back the mask, a brave face and marching back to their desks, an angry man would make noise and stamp his fists or feet and his colleagues will think him a strong willed man and female colleagues will think him a sex god and admire his masculinity.

The whole process of disabling our emotional side at work or hiding it creates a frustration and an energy vacuum referred to as “emotional labour” as described by Dr.Sandi Mann (1), it will hinder the performance and delivery of the work at hand, and I will stop you right there, it does not depend on the kind of job you do, as the emotional part of our brain comes into place way before the analytical part does, and all work whatever its nature is affected by emotions.

Stress or sadness makes you less productive and lowers your concentration; Happiness is obviously a positive emotion and will affect your concentration and productivity positively, so why contain such feelings if they are intrinsically part of our identity, personality and creativity.

Companies should promote knowledge of emotional intelligence (EI) instead of cultivating this anti-emotion culture that seems to have spread across the offices in the City and elsewhere I am sure, where reactions are blamed on hormones, where women are unstable and men are rational.
An intimate knowledge of emotions, your own and those of your colleagues can help anybody deal with the highs and lows of the emotional waves at the workplace, from Steve’s morning rants about his commute into work, to Virginie’s personal problems with her husband and David’s fears of redundancy and your own fear of change in view of the recent restructuration the firm is going through or the stress the competition at work creates especially when working with some world class *ankers, sorry I mean Bankers.

Statistics show that women cry about 3-4 times a month, compared with 1.4 for men, women don’t choose to cry nor should it be a sign of weakness (mental), this is purely physiological and should not be used against any women in the professional context or over a male colleague who is deemed more rational or stronger because he will cry 2.6 less times a month than his female counterpart.

And to that end, people (women and men equally) should realise that our employers do not own our emotions; they merely own the time they pay for the services we provide, we need not stamp down on our feelings and emotions but tap into them, recognise and embrace them and use them to channel energy towards self development and career advancement. 
A system that penalises women based on biological differences in order to assert gender equality is a flawed one.
(1) Senior Lecturer in Occupational Psychology at the University of Lancashire


  1. Interesting stuff, I like the way you approached the subject, you gave us some good insight in a short article.

    I really didnt know my female colleagues cry 3-4 times a month because of stress, and have masks on their faces :) to me they looked happy.

    Men cry 1.4 times a month??????? are you sure they're men? I cried twice in the last 15 years (seriously), ain't I normal then? :)

    Where is the 'W' on the word *ankers???? i mean the 'B' lol

    ps: well structured article ;)


  2. Hello Delboy, thank you.
    Yeah women cry a lot, that's why we live longer :)

    A lot of men cry, Algerian men don't cry (very few do and/or in secret) because they are too proud :)

    I cried once but hid in the toilet, was not a pleasant experience being stuck there I tell you!

  3. And most importantly it is just a job!
    Should be really an enjoyable small part of our lives.
    I admire EU countries culture in this respect.
    When I was in the US people said you, UK people wear your jobs as your badges and they were damn right.

    About crying, I cried once since I left DZ and will never do it again if I can, bad move for a man no matter how broken and how in deep shit he is at all levels (emotionally, career,health etc).
    Oh well, we learn from our experiences, and as they say "If it does not kill you it makes you stronger"


  4. Anon: that's where you're wrong, you can cry when you want to, do it away from prying eyes, but human beings need to cry to heal, to let out frustrations, it is VERY healthy to cry. I understand you don't want to feel sorry for yourself or play the victim no matter what, but if I need to cry I will...and frankly I wouldn't be able to hold myself back anyway...but not at work.

  5. I blame my hormones...god i cry like a baby sometimes, in the toilet and u r tying to hide it big time..the more difficult is when you cant goto the toilet and ur tears are coming down and you cant control it and when they talk to you that quite voice comes out.. i hate it big time...

    dz chick, do you cry about anything when you on PMS? I DO BIG TIME

    regarding men who cry, I find them human if they cry once in a while not as much as me but they express...and generally if they cry, it means khlat lol...


  6. Of course I cry, when hormonal I can cry about not finding something to wear, or if I drop something on the floor, when I rush to the post office and find it closed, I cry when Homer finally hugs Bart instead of strangling him.

    It is irrational lol
    BTW: You said BIG TIME 3 times in one paragraph, well done you.

  7. I know I am easily influenced..I met a friend recently who says big time a lot lol...

    Can you believe that I cry if I receive a phone call from a friend asking for help or something and then i have tears down just coz she didnt ask properly how I am..ohh god..although she does say ca va? but that doesnt count lol...

    hormones hormones...


  8. I disagree when you said Alg men don't cry because they're too proud. Through my own experience, sometimes yes I do feel angry, frustrated, stressed out, but tears just don’t come out, i don’t feel the need to cry, in fact it doesn’t even cross my mind, then hours later I am feeling fine (maybe days later, depends on the problem).

    Last time I cried was 7 years ago when my grandma passed away, a woman I hadn’t seen for 4 years cos I was abroad, and the day I went to see her she died. as you can see it is an extreme case, but when I cried, i did it in front of everyone like a little kid, it probably made up for all the years i hadn’t cried ;)

    While I understand people need to cry to heal ''
    I have a feeling that many women (some men) cry for any reason, cos it’s also a cultural thing
    Lets read again what you wrote ’I can cry about not finding something to wear, or if I drop something on the floor, when I rush to the post office and find it closed, I cry when Homer finally hugs Bart instead of strangling him.’
    You’re a character, I find that hilarious, God help ur future Alg husband hahahahahah


  9. @ Haniya: bakaya va

    @ Delboy, I am sorry about the loss of your grandmother, allah irhamha

    When I say Algerian men are too proud, isn't it true? you think you don't feel the need to cry because you were born that way? well no, you were conditioned not to cry, because crying is for girls and for wimps, we all (algerians and others) grow up thinking that crying is for girls, so man learns to discount his feelings and tears don't come out even when most upset.

    He will be lucky to have such a charactere in his life :)

  10. Wow! Excellent post, DZ-Chick.
    So true!
    I've been down this road so many times...
    Seems to me the more we talk about effective management, good governance, HR as an asset, work-life balance, etc. the more people are unhappy at work. I think all that is BS!

    The competition is just so fierce and the job too demanding. And it ain't change tomorrow.
    Fasten your seat belt, turbulence ahead!

  11. Gracias Allison, thought a lot of people would relate as we are professionals, work-life balance is the greatest BS this side of the century! especially in the UK and US...we live to work not the other way around, male competition and industry domination is rife despite the "gender equality effort" that HR come up with!

    Something has got to give...

  12. RE-men vs women emotions/crying : I think it's both biological (because of those damn hormones!) and cultural (the way girls and boys grow up/are educated).

  13. Dz-Chick, re-BS: Have you noticed that the more we talk about communications, the less people truly communicate?

    I've come to think that the old US preachers of early last century converted into salesmen in the '70 and then into so called management.

    Anybody heard about the guru Stephen Covey? In the 2000, people were talking about him and his books as if it was a revelation, god himself.

    Big corporations spent a lot of money training their people to Covey's "wisdom". Every manager and professional had to take the workshop. The guy became a millionaire selling his book (7 habits of highly effective people) by thousands and hosting conferences worldwide. All it takes is (good) marketing!

    I can't believe people are so naive (did you say dumb?) or are we, Algerians, too skeptical?

  14. "Senior Lecturer in Occupational Psychology at the University of Lancashire"
    That could be you, DZ-Chick... ;)

  15. Allison Allison...investigator by night (is it night over there?) :)

    Stephen Covey no, isn't he a bit like Anthony Robins? I went to one of his seminars (against my will) work made me, and I believe my neck has been weak ever since from so much shaking right disbelief that is.

  16. "is it night over there?"
    - No, it's early morning my dear!

    "Anthony Robins?"
    - Don't ask me. I'm allergic and avoid like plague preachers of all sorts.

    "I believe my neck has been weak ever since from so much shaking right disbelief that is."
    - LOL!

    Completely different topic : where's TDW?

  17. "early morning" yeah I should know! DOH

    TDW is usually the 1st to comment! come out, come out TDW

  18. Very interesting topic to touch upon. I think we have all been in this or similar kind of situation (at least I am talking from a female perspective). God forbid you are going to show a moment of weakness while at work… Its just not appropriate.
    More importantly however, it seems to be increasingly so in personal life as well to some extent. It seems like everyone is being expected to deal with personal stuff on their own. People don’t really want to know if you are upset, angry, stressed… even people who you regard as friends, as I have happened to discover on several occasions a little while ago..

  19. @Anonymous : very true!
    We live in an era of superwomen and supermen!
    The rest of the people are just loosers... :(

  20. Remember : antidepressants are supposed to solve all our problems!

  21. It is true that there are a lot of fair weather friends, who only seek you out when you're on top form and can be of service, if you are sick or depressed, then they're busy and think it inapropriate to bring your problems into their lives!

    Friends and partners ARE the Antidepressants!! or they ought to be

  22. Or the depressants in this case... ;)

  23. Or the ones who only call you when they need something such a borrowing huge sum of money!

    (quite few unfortunately with no concept of "just catching up")


  24. Men do cry
    a lot !!

    Especially when hey read Qur'an ..

  25. thought i'd make a point to be last this time ;)

    crying is cool. but not at work, those corporate wankers are not worth me wasting a single tear for.

  26. to break the silence...where is everyone :(...


  27. so it's dead here today?

    nice choice of pic for the post btw ;-) .

  28. i was saying it's dead here today, and your choice of pic is interesting @¬)

  29. TDW- it's not my pic if that's what you're thinking ;)

    I am on holiday again, almost as though people know!!!! amazing

  30. that's not what am/was thinking, if you sees what i means.

  31. Eh,! ana hsabtek tzawjti ou waliti tbi3i ghali 3lina! mabanch khabrak yel Dz-feloussa! I hope you're having fun though! Dorka; sm3i ya lala....just keep us on your invite list bach ntawsoulak..ana deja rani chritlak an iron mel Argos on special deal. Actually I bought 3 for each one of you ladizz( Dz,Allison and above all a pink one for the unsubmissive Haniya)

    As for el Ghalya Najma, I bought you something more practical and I am sure it will put a permanent smile on your face and I assure you it's hussle free... I won't say what it is because I don't want the rest of ladies to get jealous( motto bel ghira).

    Now, tell me why each time I see this video it reminds me of Mr Annonymous?

  32. Hi every body
    check this out, you girls are not like this hein ? :)


  33. @tdw: What was is then?
    @GMA: tetzawaj entaya netzawaj anaya and will save a dance for you ;)
    Love the video though lol

  34. That is what I am talking about, some Mustachalgamting!

    If some lowly life came to you dissing me .....
    It is a proof of my greatness...

    Allah yarhmek yelmotannabi, if you were alive, loukane mast3mronache les moustaches.

    Mr Anonymous, the happy bunny makra fel3adyane!

  35. curly hair ... shirts (tailleurs) ... you get the gist ...

    @GMA: hassan baba is a legend ... i need to steal some of his dance moves

    @Kada: video is seriously funny but comments are even funnier

    @Anon: are you taking offense again? i might have misunderstood your comment (or not understood at all more like lol).

  36. @ GMA,, i love the video and thanks for getting me something..what do u mean by unsubmisive???

    @ dz-felousa (i love it btw GMA), r u back..i so got used to reading this blog..then all of a sudden, u vanished...grrr loneliness kills :(..

    hope u having fun...

    big boussa

  37. Salam everybody  How are you all?

    @ GMA Awww!! How sweet of you to just think of me  Shouffou ya nass eli ya3raf l’ssah.
    GMA mena ou l foug ana daymen f’l camp dialek. Eli t’habeha n’dirhalek, M’hadjeb, matlou3, chtitha, dolma, khoutouba, et3am… outloub bark. Allah ekhalik ou yahfdek men 3in el hassoud ;D
    About the video, LOL echeikh rahou fi trance mode!!! Kima Anonymous ;)
    @ Kada, ya khouya, h’na wesh djabna le g’tout?? Hassling fi rouhna khassna ghir houb el minouche ;)
    @ Hanya, akhah akhak 3la hadik la voix!!!


  38. By the way.
    True, we can’t really cry anywhere, don’t we all know this? But crying is not a weakness; it just shows that you are human.
    And for you men out there: It really takes a real man to cry, because after all, a man has feelings, he is not going to be less of a man to show his emotions, au contraire, It just shows that at a certain point he can be vulnerable, and again he can pick up the pieces and go on with his life.
    But I know, in our culture it is not liked for men to cry, but this is life. I think a man that’s a real man, can be very sexy when he cries. Ok Ok I would go on and on, but I won’t.
    Allah eba3ed 3lina edmou3 el hazen.
    Love to all 


  39. Dont worry Haniya I am collecting material for the blog, so all is not lost will come back with plenty of stories for you...Stay tuned

    TDw: I am much hotter than THAT!!! You should know by now ;)


  40. @GMA : "'Actually I bought 3 for each one of you ladizz( Dz,Allison and above all a pink one for the unsubmissive Haniya)"
    - Pour le fer, tu repasseras... ;)

  41. @TDW
    Yes I am proving susceptible again
    Who is in the pic? Did you get their permission? And how do they feel about you saying you are hotter? Can we see your pic? It will not be used for any purpose other than to validate your hotness :)

    Hope you are well


  42. @Ato: it's a royalty free pic! Sorry no can do re: picture but you should take my word for it! Am HOT ;)
    Am back from holidays and miss my beloved blog and readers! Will have to post something asap

  43. @ATO & DZC: i couldn't have put it better myself :œ

    with the lack of activity, i was almost starting to forget about the blog :P .

    hope you've been good, so to speak.

  44. tdw: you wouldn't dare!! one week away and you're loosing interest!! shocking shocking I tell ya!

    I've been GOOOD. :) hope you're doing to speak

  45. things move fast ... so much can happen in a week ;) .

    am doing good thqnks :) . et toi?

  46. Oh you have NO idea TDW!!!!
    Je vais tres bien merci :) as happy as I can be...EVER!

  47. wawaweeewa! you sound like you've struck gold and i hope you have.

  48.'ll have to stick around now to hear the stories ;)

  49. either that or you're just being your self-deprecating self AGAIN (which is not good)

  50. Maybe yes maybe no...
    You'll detect the vibe in my next posts.

  51. @ Anonymous, I bow to your greatness Sir.

    @ Haniya,I've called you unsbmissive because you've made it clear to me that you're anything but submissive. You’ve even said rooh la douar ou jeeb wahda :(.

    @Nedjma, ahh ya our bright star! I am now one of your biggest fans. Ghir nti li mragti the way to man's heart is through his stomach. Choufi; from now on you're wish is my command....:)

    @ Allison, wach 3lih n7adad, ntayab, naghsal.I dust,....etc. The more household chores I do with/for my partner; the more special time we can spend together:)

    Now, the biggest challenge for a man is how to convert his partner from an ironing hater into an ironing lover? obviously, all health and safety procedures must be taken into is first as usual...:).

    @Dz-Fellousa, rani deja bdeet nakhdam 3la my dance choreography lel 3arss nta3ak..mais you must sign a confidentiality agreement before you'll even be invited to my wedding....ya jadak na3ardhek et apres tabday tagta3 fel blog.

    p.s. it’s a great pleasure having you back.

  52. GMA: You big flirt :)

    Are you getting married? loukan ta3radni, je te jure ghir I will document your wedding in the nicest way possible, as little tagta3 as possible! save a dance for me :)

    Thanks, good to be back mon cher.

  53. On a serious note about your blog entry, I remember once I watched a TV programme about the the remarkable Pauline Frederick...ou nachfa she said haja made me stop and think at that time...she said "When a man gets up to speak, people listen; then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen."

    Nothing has changed in the corporate world sexism is/has always been embedded in the male psyche. Furthermore, institutional sexism is still alive and well, it perpetuates and magnifies women’s disadvantages and makes social and gender equality more of a lip reading exercise plastered on glossy company’s annual report and manifesto, therefore, stamping down on sexism is more of myth than a reality.

  54. where are the new stories :P ?

  55. @ GMA, ma3lich kahlouche takbar wa tensa/..on a serious note, m soo unsubmissive unbelievable hard feelings 3la dowar..m sure u r smart enough to choose and love her your way...

    @ dz-fellousa...walah v nice to have you back...

    big boussa

  56. @GMA : Fer... repasser... didn't you get the play on words? :)

    @DZ-Chick : Welcome back... Can't wait to read your new post... ;-)

  57. Hello girlies :) new post is out.

  58. Allison et GMA, je suis sûr qu'il ya quelque chose entre vous deux.

  59. @Anonymous : tu as trop lu de contes de fées. La seule chose que nous ayons en commun, c'est probablement son pseudo (we're both genetically modified algerians).

    Mais j'apprécie beaucoup ses posts, comme ceux d'autres intervenants ici, et son humour si particulier...

    Conclusion : nhabkoum kamline, même les faux et vrais anonymes! :)

  60. @ GMA,

    Now the biggest challenge for a man is how to convert his partner from an ironing hater into an ironing lover? obviously, all health and safety procedures must be taken into is first as usual...:).

    OK: I believe that for the most part, if you are "really a romantic" really "very" romantic with your girl, show how much you love her, you say it thousands of times a day,in every language, sans oublier a l’algeroise bien harsha, genre,” n’habek ya m’haynek”
    If she asks you how she looks, your answer should be always “ oh 3omri, 3andek h’bass ezzine”
    Am I fat? You should say” What?? With a very sincere face: washbik , ana dyman je me dis beli tu as trops megris, bezzaf ga3!
    A gift for her birthday, l’3id essghir, l’3id el kbir, le jour de l’an, moharam, 3id el mar’aa, la fete des meres, et meme un cadeau sans occasion will do.
    Helping her at home, wearing the apron once in a while, maybe will get her to do it  ila 3andek shouiya zh’ar.
    But if she loves you really enough, ironing is the least thing she could do for you.
    But tell me, what happened to dry cleaners??


  61. @ Anonymous, "Allison et GMA, je suis sûr qu'il ya quelque chose entre vous deux."

    3lach el smata hadi? Hna ngassrou entre nous wentouma tafahmou la3wadj!

  62. @Dz-Chick,"Are you getting married? loukan ta3radni, je te jure ghir I will document your wedding in the nicest way possible, as little tagta3 as possible! save a dance for me :)

    Choufi; tachat7i fi 3arssi nachta7 fi 3arseek and that is a promise. As for larani rayah natzawaj ou non?

    I plead the fifth.

  63. @TDW: Readers can delete their own comments (straight after posting I think)

    @GMA: Intriguing, misleading, interesting!!! Who is the lucky girl?

  64. @Dz-Chick, " Intriguing, misleading, interesting!!! Who is the lucky girl?"

    Nope, you should've said " you're a lucky man!" as for the girl her self...even the word 'amazing' does not do her justice.

  65. Wow lucky you and lucky her :)
    La3kouba liya alors

  66. Inchallah Dz-Chick. Only the best will deserve you..don't ever settle for less...:)

  67. @Nedjma, I want you to help me here! This is a transcript of my phone conversation with my ex-girlfriend before she dumped me. I am still at loss why did she do it? Can you tell me what went wrong in this conversation:

    G: Girlfriend

    G: Text message: “ wach omri nsitni?”.
    M: Text message:” non, hsabtek raki machghoula!”.
    G: Text message: “ pour toi henouni, ga3 mon temp pour toi”.
    M : text message : « c'est gentille de ta part ».
    G : text message : « wach, marakach hab tahder m3aya ? ».
    M: text message: “Pourquoi tu dis ça ? ».
    G : text message : « Parecque tu ne veux pas m'appeller! ».
    M : ring, ring ( 7 fois) …..
    M: Ana fi 9albi, wach bi djadha tbi3 3liya ghali?.
    G: “Alooooooooooo”( twila a l’Algerienne).
    M: “Saha, wach raki”?
    G:” Labess merci”
    M: “ Wach raki dirri”
    G:”Kount 3and l’ estheticienne”.
    M:” Wach jouzi 3andi la dar apres?”
    G:” 3lach twa7achtni, wela habeet t’inspecter la travail nta3 l’ estheticienne?”
    M: “ Biensure les deux, on plus raki bayna raki 3ayana..Arwahi nathala feek”.
    G: “ Sah, je suis fatiguée ».
    M : « Biensure, bebe nhar kamal wenti tamchi fi rassi »
    G : « haha, nta mahboul !… mais c' est gentil de ta part »
    M : « Aya jouzi 3andi ndirlek un massage des pieds ».
    G : « Hada makan?….(dahka) ».
    M : « biensure non- nat3achaw kifkif ».
    G : « wach tayabli ? »
    M : « Haja khfifa ou drifa ».
    G : « Kach dessert ! »
    M : « haja bayna hadi, un repas sans dessert n'est pas un vrai repas ».
    G : « wach rak rayah dir pour un dessert ? »
    M : « anaya ton dessert….7low ou mansamanch ! »
    G : « ( dahka) nta tu es fou ».
    G : « 9oli haja deuce ? »
    M : « 3labalak ana nabghik ! »
    G : « 9oli haja Algeroise !»
    M : « Nagabdek ngat3ak. Loukan raki 9odami naklek! ».
    G: “ 9oli haja plus special cheri”.
    M:” Loukan jiti 9odami dorka, nadrab***** Tara3fi!”.
    G: “ Ahhhh! Ki 9otli ha9da 9albi khbat tres fort”.
    M: “ Nadarbou houwa taneek”.

    Bon Hadi part one bark. Nkamal apres,,,,,lazam ta3tili your analysis .

  68. really? i'd like to know how

  69. I think you're allowed only when you/if you sign in with your google account

  70. i see you want to force me to use a google account :P

  71. @ GMA
    Assma3 washbik, hiya t9olek koli haja romantchik, et ta reponse hiya etriha?? Ou t’gataha?? Yakhahh washbeek ya radjal?
    Yakhi hadak echi ba3d el marriage machi kablou.
    Khabatelha 9albha meskina  ou khla3tha!!
    Je pense rahi haba t9oulha: ma cherie, tu es la plus belle de toutes, je t'aime et sans toi je ne pourrai pas vivre, si tu me quitte je meurs, ba3dek tfna el hayate! ya ma3djoune kalbi ;)
    Ahhh yal el houb a l’algerienne!!!( Soupir)
    Bessah 3labalek, hadi rahi ghir tatfachech 3lik, hata massage des pieds ma 3amarelhache el 3in?? ou taybli, ou dirli dessert??
    Awah awah benat had el waket bezzaff.
    Bon manjoujihache dork, a3tini la souite ou n’chouffou ;)
    Ani nesstana.


  72. Nedjma madirich alih rahou amoureux de sa "girlfriend"

    TDW: You're the one who was singing googles praises!!

  73. for emails yes, lesser of the evils for now. i do have a google account, multiple ones in fact, i just can't be bothered & don't want to log in every time i want to comment.

  74. comment, quand et où?

  75. TDW: he is being gentle

    Anonymous: Tu me dis t'es qui, je te dirais quoi!

  76. @Nedjma. part 2 jayak soon...I just felt too traumatised to write about it today..I had to seek the help of my shrink to let it all out.

  77. who knows a good place for therapy? i might need some soon lol

  78. DZ-Chick, 3la balek meskine rahou metkebed, kouni hnina m3ah.

    @GMA, Rani h'na khouya, ahkili, fadjili, faregh galbak, ghir etraumatisme man habhouleksh.
    Rani messtanya, a plus :)


  79. TDW: Keep me updated I need some therapy as well...PRONTO!

    Nejma: machi ghir houwa tu sais!!

  80. Irulana Corrino6 July 2011 at 21:49

    Valid point in general. Let me describe it in a one Polish sentence ( very popular nowadays): " real women do not eat honey, they chew bees" :-))

  81. DZ-Chick and the Polish connection...long long story...Allah yej3al khir!



    kemel lpart 2 pleaseeeee soon soon :p

    i liked :"messbah nti tjri fi rassi" looooool so funny

    the Algerians are the most romantic men they don't lie :p
    romantic= lies !-_-

    btw : saha aidekom : dz-chick nedjma alison and others :p i really love you guys i hope we meet in chat room keep it up felousaaa

  83. Good topic to touch upon... we have all been there (at least im talking from a female perspective) god forbid you are going to show a moment of weakness while at work or for that matter even in personal life everyone is increasingly being expected to just deal with things on their own. people dont want to know if you are upset, angry, stressed... even your friends as i have happened to discover frequently about 6 months ago... ;o)

  84. DZ-Chick how interesting as always!! Most bankers are *ankers, that's just a fact but I don't mind *ankers though, it can be a turn on ;-).

    I am considered a top performer in my office (not hard to achieve considering the average employee) but my performance is overshadowed by my volatility. I am consistently true to myself (not grea at times as I upset my loved ones)hence professionalism can f*ck off if I am not liking what I hear.

    My colleagues did think for a very long time that I knew somebody highly ranked in the organisation (probably knew in the biblical sense, I am sure) as I get away with voicing my feelings in every tone possible and yet I still get the utmost respect from managmenent and higher management.
    Truth is British people tend to conceal their emotions and when faced with an Algerian tornado, they simply shrivelled.

    Additionally they do admire that audacity and transparency, consequently they tip toe delicately around you, what a beautiful dance!

    As you rightly stated they pay for our time (and skills), hada makan. I own my emotions hence they will be freely expressed, as candidly as nakedness on a nudist beach!


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