Thursday 23 June 2011

It’s Pavlovian, I can’t help it

It doesn’t apply only to dogs you know, when you have been burnt and scorned repeatedly, your heart broken so many times, you develop a defence wall around you, the kind of permanent guard that needs superman to take down.

When pain always follows happiness, when your heart is always broken after opening up, you become conditioned to expect pain after pleasure (and not in a good way), you always wait for the catch or for the disappointment, sometimes you expect it knowingly and sometimes you precede it by sabotaging the relationship in an attempt at gaining control and saving your grace.
You have become conditioned just like the dog salivating at the sound of the bell; my stimulus is the slightest attention I get from men, guards are up.

Where is Superman??

A kryptonited Dz-Chick

80 comments:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AogEJAQKWk

    no comment ;) .

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  2. Clearly speechless you are!

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  3. but i like how you're focusing more on you in the new posts

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  4. Very good observation Dawood, it's about time I did...

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  5. It's really, really, cleverly written. I like your style. You've got a way to say what you feel

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  6. I just hope that you won't be adding another layer to Algerian new tradition, by insisting that LE NEW MAN lazam yatsader on his wedding day in a Superman outfit? ou Lilat el dakhla wach yalbess?

    Akh ya7awji.

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  7. @GMA: I don't believe in Tasdira so he's safe, however, the outfit might be required for the wedding night! ;)

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  8. If you're kryptonited then even super man is not safe around you!
    Stop sabotaging yourself DZ-CHICK and allow yourself to be happy...

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  9. You know DZ-Chick, when the right man finds you, no matter how high your walls are, no matter how maby doors you closed on your self, no matter how you shut your self, the right man will break thru, he will know how to get to you and just get you out of that, just like that, I am saying " when the right man finds you"
    If he is not the right one then you know.
    You will be happy, I just know it :) ( InchaAllah)

    Nedjma

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  10. GoodSamaritan: I am working on dekryptoniting myself :)

    Nedjma: Amen my dear Amen

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  11. The last time I heard, Superman was on a special trip to Chile as they have some issue with a volcano...
    On a more general matter, pain does not ALWAYS follow happiness and love is not about having her/his guard up/down. Of course there will be some bad times but that's how you know there are more good times!
    Cheer up and have a Pimms! Weather is nice!

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  12. Hmmm Yeah Pimms, good idea! cheers

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  13. in my mind pimms tastes like those lipton iced teas with some mint.

    where's superman? i'm literally falling asleep here. so bored.

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  14. As Voltaire said: Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.

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  15. that's proof that Voltaire didn't work in an office :P

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  16. Yeah he worked alfresco in the fields probably or on board a ship or somink!

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  17. lol @ somink = nice touch ;) . one of my criteria will be someone with a grasp of subtlety like that

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  18. You mean someone like ME! just say it!!! :P

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  19. I am very confused by your post.

    Did you meet someone or not?

    If yes why can't you be happy?

    Is he not for you?

    Is he your type?

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  20. I met someone yes, he is my type and is for me!
    As for the happiness, am working on it...he is wonderful and I am crazy!

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  21. I wish you a very happy life with him.

    Un frère Algerien

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  22. you cheeky you.

    mabrook on your rencontre and wish you all the best too. inchallah i hope it all works out for you and you're happily married very soon :) . i hope he's muslim btw :P .

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  23. He is muslim yes dad!!!
    Thank you :)

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  24. Finally a potential end to the seemingly non ending posts about this topic :)

    Let us move to more exciting stuff :)

    P.s. that was a bit quick, never the less, 90% of job interviews are decided within the first few minutes.

    Anonymous le Great

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  25. We are looking forward to your next post about him?

    Where did you meet him? Algeria!

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  26. niiiceee.

    funny you would say that Anon le Grand, i had a bit of an adventure with job interviews not too long ago.
    in a nutshell, in a process that lasted about 6 months, 4 stages/interviews, of which 3 on the phone and 1 in person, i was congratulated at the end of that process for being successful and told to wait for the offer to come through from the HR department.
    HR called me and told me the offer was pending approval by fuck knows whom.
    7 weeks later, still waiting and having sent them loads of emails asking what the situation is, i got told that it is unlikely that they would be extending an offer for some bullshit corporate reason.

    my feeling is that i have been corporately buttf***** (excuse my french) and treated like shit.

    now my question is: should i send a pissy email to them for wasting my time, effort and even money (since i had to buy some massive book) but mostly time and effort and put through stress over a fairly considerable amount of time or just let it go?Anon? DZC? anyone you corporate peeps?

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  27. TDW
    Just phone HR and ask them the about reason? 6 months is a long time, and anything can happen,headcount might have been initially available, but then they might change their mind, if they are cutting costs/heads ect or changing their business plans .
    It is unlikely they change their mind because they find someone more suitable. Usually most respectable companies will not pull out of a verbal offer.
    Anyways don't go for companies with long hiring processes, they tend to be beaurocratic and still stuck in the 70s way of management. Take it from me, it is not a good sign!
    Also most companies speed up the process for people they want to snatch quickly.

    If you are a recent student, allude to the fact that the company is well regarded at your Uni and that you have always recommended them, they should get the indirect threat. Even though they hold the power at the moment in this climate.

    ATO

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  28. Patience my curious friend! you will know more in good time!

    I would never wait 6 months to be hired by some bogus company with bureaucratic and lenghty procedures, 6 months would be acceptable at a very senior level but for an out of Uni position, it shouldnt take more than a month and that is long as it is.

    As ATO said, headcount might have been given to someone else and now they're scrambling! either way move on TDW!

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  29. funnily enough this is a massive company (well-respected with leading products) and the role is not a graduate scheme or entry-level position; the reason it took 6 months (ok maybe about 5) was because the process had different stages, from online application to final in-person interview, some of them being gruelling and technical and required me to actually spend time reading and doing stuff while in full-time employment already. so i didn't mind that it was taking a while to get through every stage.

    the HR lady is the one who got in touch with me on the phone to inform me of their unlikeliness to proceed with me 7 weeks after i got told i had succeeded.
    i didn't want to say something brash and stupid over the phone so i sort of left it.

    but then every time i think about it it's pissing me off pretty badly since i invested a lot of my own personal time to prepare for it.

    so pissy email to the HR (or maybe try to get some senior management person's email address from google)who will probably just ignore it anyway or just let it go?

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  30. That's a beautiful story Dawood! :P

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  31. lol i know ... i got a lot of imagination :P

    my already pretty large disdain for all things corporate has gone up by a few notches.

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  32. In the end ,

    The love you take is equal to the love you make .

    El Moutanabi .

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  33. DZ-C now that you found your man looks like this has gone from Bridget Jones to The Apprentice :)

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  34. Malek: Well we have to find a way to keep this blog going if I am no longer single....

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  35. why does it need to keep going?

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  36. It needs to continue until I get married dawood! besides don't you want to continue??

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  37. will probably forget about it in a couple of weeks if it stops :P .

    don't you want to end on a high note rather than drag it for too long?

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  38. Meeting someone doesn't mean I am married and found the man of my dreams! so stay tuned if you want to hear the stories, I know you LOOOOOVE me and can't stay away anyway ;)

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  39. stop it i'm gonna cry ... anyway i know you lorrrrrrrrrrrvvvvvvvves me too

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  40. Yahooo!!! DZ-Chick a (enfin) trouvé chaussure à son pied!

    Youyouyouyouuuuuhhhhh!

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  41. Merci Allison :) c'est vraiment le cas.

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  42. Coooool chikita, cooool...
    Does he know about this blog? :)

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  43. Gracias guapa!
    I cannot comment on that just yet! will be back with more info ;)

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  44. Ha! Maintaining suspense, I see... ;)

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  45. I don't have a choice Allison, TDW is already threatning to leave!! lol

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  46. youuuu just love to do that .. don't try and blame me for it lol

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  47. Yeah... I think he's really disappointed. He wants you forever for him only... ;-)
    I can't remember how we call that...
    Help anyone?

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  48. obsessive? possessive? psychotic? so many words come to mind, none of them very flattering.

    is that how i come across Allison?

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  49. Not at all TDW. I would say nice, friendly, etc.

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  50. that's more like it :D

    so what was the word? say it in french or even in arabic or algerian ;) .

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  51. The word you looking for Tdw is Machtaq ma3rifa :) google translate doesn't do algerian yet so get your algerian mates to translate that for you !!

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  52. since it's coming from you Maleko, i won't bother :) .

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  53. Play nice children! mummy hasn't had her coffee yet!

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  54. Je suis très très contente pour toi DZ-Chick, du fond du coeur, tu m'as donné de l'éspoir car je n'arrive plus à croire aux hommes!!

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  55. I asked my nephew , 7 years old

    " Where is Superman ?"

    He answered :

    "Superman doesn't exist !!!"

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  56. Merci Angel, faut garder espoir moi j'avais abondone aussi mais mon prince a apparu! :)

    @Anonymous: Tell your nephew I have found him.

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  57. @DZ-Chick

    Wait and see .....

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  58. I waited long enough anonymous! :)

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  59. Inchallah DZ-Chick, je reviendrai un jour dans ton blog pour te dire que j'ai trouvé moi aussi mon prince :)

    Promets moi juste de ne pas fermer ton blog.

    Je te souhaite plein plein de bonheur avec lui :)

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  60. Inchallah :)
    Je ne fermerais pas le blog ....jamais!

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  61. hmmmm jamais? jamais au grand jamais? they says 'never say never' apparently but you can never knows.

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  62. Well whoever it was they had terrible English....:P

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  63. i might get a proper username then ... maybe change it to something else, to thwart potential stalkers.

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  64. Good idea...sing in with your google a/c ;)

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  65. does your man knows about the blog?

    if no, will you tell him?
    if yes, what does he think about the relationship could become public?

    will you stop blogging if it touches the relationship?

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  66. some good points to think about above ...

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  67. Anonymous: I will share more about my man and me in good times. I have to clear it with him first if I were to make it public.

    Daode: you crack me up :)

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  68. why is that? (s)he's making some good points.

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  69. She/he is...but I am not ready yet! I just liked how you jumped on the questioning wagon! :)

    I will tell you all...when I am ready.

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  70. oh riiight. actually am not that curious about it all but they are things to consider, although ... you are building up the hype between you and quote my man unquote above :P .

    anyway, i crack me up too sometimes.

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  71. What about you Daode? any girl(s)?

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  72. am waiting for you to sort yourself out then you can sort me out ;) . am sort of busy doing other stuff at the moment but if the right one came along why not :P .

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  73. Hope by Emily Bronte

    Hope was but a timid friend;
    She sat without the grated den,
    Watching how my fate would tend,
    Even as selfish-hearted men.

    She was cruel in her fear;
    Through the bars, one dreary day,
    I looked out to see her there,
    And she turned her face away!

    Like a false guard, false watch keeping,
    Still, in strife, she whispered peace;
    She would sing while I was weeping;
    If I listened, she would cease.

    False she was, and unrelenting;
    When my last joys strewed the ground,
    Even Sorrow saw, repenting,
    Those sad relics scattered round;

    Hope, whose whisper would have given
    Balm to all my frenzied pain,
    Stretched her wings, and soared to heaven,
    Went, and ne'er returned again!

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  74. Hope remains the only ally a person can have not to turn too negative and obscure. Gracias per le poem mi Amiga

    Don't worry I am a closeted optimist and an eternal hopeful :) sarcasm gives me edge :P

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  75. Yo lo se hermana and I absolutely love your sarcasm and cynicism as they are part of the ingredients that make this blog the best one I have ever read! I have never ever read a blog so much, I do prefer literature but you have captivated my mind and my heart.

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  76. Awwww that's sweet :) thank you MP
    Xxx

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  77. I shall send you a virtual hug straight from the heart ;-) xxx

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