Tuesday 31 March 2009

The Algerian dating phenomenon

A new dating phenomenon has appeared on the Algerian social scene, I noted.

It seems the international dating rules and etiquette do not apply to the Algerian dating scene, the players make their own rules and play their games against a participating public who is oblivious to these rules, therefore claiming victory at each game and collecting the trophies and titles, leaving behind indignant or wounded parties both on the physical and emotional level, turning this game into a vicious circle that would ultimately have long-term effect on the overall socio-behaviour of the society.

We all know that "dating" comes from western cultures and that it is not really recognized in Islamic cultures, due to the strict rules of non-mixing before marriage, but due to the westernisation of most Islamic nations and the globalisation trend as well as other social activities such as Immigration; dating has become more tolerated and sometimes even encouraged, though it does remain frowned upon and even strictly forbidden in certain countries where free mixing is non-existent such is the case of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Now Algeria seems to be a completely different case; generally speaking you'll find a bit of everything in Algeria. you have the group where social free mixing is completely unheard of and dating is as common as the rain in the Sahara, and other groups where dating is a social activity that is completely accepted and tolerated, although this was not the case 10 years ago, things have changed and a sight of a couple walking down the street hand in hand is not totally shocking, providing you are talking about a big city with busy streets and local cafés and tea-rooms where these couples could sit and enjoy a hassle-free date.
The first group is not so fortunate, as you'll find couples struggling to meet or even talk on the phone, where everything has to be scheduled and schemed carefully or it could mean trouble with the girl’s father or brothers or even in some cases, cousins and uncles, it could even go as far as neighbours in some extreme cases.

Now, in this blog, what I am concerned about isn't the dating itself but the new dating rules or should I say the abolition of these rules and etiquette. Where women have become important players despite the fact that men are still the more prominent ones and are still holding the dices. They have taken it to new levels, where women are usable and disposable and are actually okay with this; Marriage doesn’t even enter the agenda or at least is very cleverly hidden. It is all about non exclusivity, open relationships and affairs. You are a women, therefore you should know this is an open relationship and of determined duration, do not expect more than your given time and do not question the fact that there are more than two in your “relationship”, if you do (question) then you’re jus not open minded enough or at least not interesting – there is an expiration date and limit; its in fact expiration dating.

These players of both genders view their lifestyles as very westernised and therefore very developed and cultured; this is mainly due to the effect of westernisation and viewing everything European or American as cultured, developed and THE standard to follow, leaving indigenous and inherited “social” principals visibly diminished and neglected, which results in a very westernised generation that is torn between the old and the new, Islam and westernisation which could be explained by the socio-behavioural evolution that occurs naturally with the mixing of races and religions through trade and immigration but that is generally speaking, in Algeria specifically, the change is most significant in the younger generation of higher economic status, where financial freedom makes for an easy mean or access to the western world through travel, TV, mobile communication, cinema and fashion. This new generation it seems adopted their own culture and created their own “new” traditions which are a more contemporary urban set of traditions adopted from what they view as suitable for their lifestyles and times, this can be witnessed through the new dating behaviours mentioned above, the mixing of races (international marriages are now becoming a more common trend in Algeria), the wedding celebrations, this behavioural change extends to new dialects created and considered more “HIP”, hair styles and body arts, though we have to visit the issue of the recent Islamic revivalism, many young Algerians have a new found faith, wearing of Hidjab (Islamic veil) is high amongst the youth of middle and lower classes, putting this group in direct conflict with the latter which holds more liberal views. Can this be viewed as diversity? Or a new social concern?

So this brings us conclusively to the question of marriage since dating – the new dating phenomenon has created new rules and criteria’s that surely would affect the marriage decision of the players.
If the core values of the society have been modified, what are the criteria they based their searches for life partners on? Keeping the same dating criteria is not something impossible but quite rare, showing the hypocritical behaviour this dating phenomenon has engendered.

43 comments:

  1. DZ-Chick aka DZ Banksy, I will venture on a totally unknown territory here as I am disappointed by the lack of response on this serious post....I have never dated an Algerian man, well actually I did recently but his father was French (de souche) and besides his mother, appearance and name he had no Algerian identity whatsoever......I diverted, apologies.

    Bref, dating in the Algerian community could only alter due to our location and the era we live in.
    Algerian men/women as any men/women nowadays can have the cake and eat it, unsure about this English expression.....let's try it in French ils veulent le beurre et l'argent du beurre and they clearly can.

    Consequently there is no hurry to get hitched as they can play the field. If sex is available on tap, no marriage certificate is a pre-requisite. It is now acceptable to have pre-marital sex and rightly so.

    Entre parantheses, compatibility in the bedroom department is as essential to a couple as compatibility in personality. Nonetheless a premature intimacy in a relationship might blur the lines and interfere with clear judgement. Good sex=good relationship, wrong equation evidently.

    You have mentioned an eyebrow-raising issue: open relationship. Are Algerians really emulating Europeans (messed up ones that is) or simply taking the p***?
    They will never allow a woman they care for to engage with any other man and their yearning for non-exclusivity is a clear indicator that this 'relationship' is a sham.

    'you have the group where social free mixing is completely unheard of and dating is as common as the rain in the Sahara,'
    Each of your post are induced with wit and I just love the above sentence.






    ReplyDelete
  2. 'you have the group where social free mixing is completely unheard of and dating is as common as the rain in the Sahara,'
    Each of your post are induced with wit and I just love the above sentence.

    I also liked that sentence in particular. Very interesting!
    But in my opinion, I never heard of socially accepted dating in Algeria, even in big cities or in capital. I think among no matter what class, upper or middle, but as long as it is traditional, religious, and conservative family, dating is not accepted and if any young girl or boy wants to do that, better do that in hiding. Because if father, brother, uncle (as you correctly mentioned) hears about it - that means troubles for sure!

    all the best

    ReplyDelete
  3. "...the players make their own rules and play their games against a participating public who is oblivious to these rules, therefore claiming victory at each game and collecting the trophies and titles, leaving behind indignant or wounded parties both on the physical and emotional level..."

    that right there resonates perfectly with how i felt. i liked this one algerian girl who utterly shattered me. she led me on then when she got to where, or what she wanted, dropped me like piping hot stone. i never asked her any question after she brokened me... if its ment to be, it will, but in the mean time i set off to understand her culture more and stumbled onto this heaven sent blog. ummm yeah she was the first and only algerian i know lol

    DZ-Chick,reading your posts on your blog make for a good understanding of algerian culture and ways of thinking. im east african myself so im from a totaly different culture all together.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for reviving this old post guys;
     
    Miss Polemique The Algerian dating I wrote about above is based in Algeria, I didn’t know any Algerians in the UK back then and had no idea what was going on in here, I was merely refereeing to my knowledge of the dating phenomenon in Algeria, where as the expression says “the donkey rides its master” and lines are blurred, social norms upheld but bent and everybody gets used and abused.
     
    Also, dating is becoming more and more socially accepted notably in larger and more urban areas, affecting directly the average marrying age.
     
    I have just re-read my post since I wrote it back in 2009, wow, intense! Not a spec of humour…
     
    KiloMetric
    I am sorry to hear about your bad experience…at the hands of this Algerian girl, though I couldn’t even pretend to understand or offer you explanations, people are different and Algerians are not made from one mould. I do hope some of my posts might shed a faint light on what motivated your ex to do what she did.
     
    Anything or anyone not from Algeria will find it difficult to understand, alors la East Africa. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. hahahaha yeah your posts have deluged me with a lot of light. i havent given up on anything just because of that one bad experience.i accept all experieces... they are building blocks. dont bother trying to give an explanantion yet, i havent asked any questions :). im slowly piecing her behaviours with what im reading so i understand her more now. and a lot is to do with culture and societal acceptance...

    ReplyDelete
  6. since when algerians started dating? 2 years ago 3 years ago? we are not used to dating and it didnt come with a manual ..so we are doing it our own way :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. London is a great place to be out and about dating as there is a wealth of things to do, so much so that every date can be different to the last!dating in london

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Be dependable on your first date or call if something came up and you can't make it on time. It is vital that you make her vibe that you regard her opportunity and recall that being kind or conscious of your date makes you more alluring.find a sugar daddy

    ReplyDelete
  10. Both women and men are sinners who, in Christ, have been forgiven, but there is an ongoing consequence of the state of two human hearts within marriage. ดูฟรีหนังโป๊

    ReplyDelete
  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello There. I found your blog the usage of msn. This is a very neatly written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your helpful information. Thank you for the post. I will certainly return. Dubai Whatsapp Group

    ReplyDelete
  13. I feel very grateful that I read this. It is very helpful and very informative and I really learned a lot from it. karachi escort

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have bookmarked your blog, the articles are way better than other similar blogs.. thanks for a great blog! Best Interracial Dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  15. I couldn't locate the ideal words to value this. This is genuinely one in a millions.
    ارقام بنات للزواج

    ReplyDelete
  16. Largest Online Dating Website Gives You Endless Possibilities to Find Your Perfect Partner Islamabad escorts

    ReplyDelete
  17. With the best dating tips in this article, online dating can be fun and ideally compelling in helping individuals discover their lifetime partner. millionaire match review

    ReplyDelete
  18. You can skip once again from an awful dating knowledge. Laetitia, 32 from Brighton found this after a progression of awful dates including suggestible sexual proposition on a first date, and another who left mid-path through supper.Virginia mates

    ReplyDelete
  19. Extremely intriguing online journal. A lot of web journals I see nowadays don't generally give anything that I'm keen on, however I'm most definitely inspired by this one. Recently felt that I would post and let you know. Wisconsin dating

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thank you for helping people get the information they need. Great stuff as usual. Keep up the great work!!! single people and divorced people

    ReplyDelete
  21. "CrackitToday is a UPSC Prelims Test Series Android App the has both a daily quiz and full-length UPSC mock tests which will help the aspirants perfect their preparation. upsc test series

    ReplyDelete
  22. Abandon her speculating, suggest more than tell and you'll show signs of improvement results. gay meeting sites

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post. Now you make it easy for me to understand and implement the concept. Thank you for the post. prepare yourself for hot hookup

    ReplyDelete
  24. There are heaps of internet dating administrations accessible, from gigantic locales with a large number of individuals from every one of the four corners of the world to specialty dating destinations that provide food for little gatherings of individuals.I find a very good blog for the hiring London escorts, If you want you can visit this site.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Find out how to choose the best dating advice book which will help you easily attract and date the kind of people you most desire. Finding the right dating advice advice book can really turn your life around.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Internet-based dating has become a popular way to generally meet someone special. As you probably know, there are lots of countless websites providing dating services - some are'free'sites (no price to join or use the site), while the others require cost in certain form. Such'compensated'sites might cost a subscription, or perhaps a little cost for every single concept you return with all the site. Escort in Lahore

    ReplyDelete
  27. Up to now therefore good. But among the essential difficulties with every one of these various forms of sites is knowing what type is'correct'for you. Not merely do you have to decide on between'compensated'and'free ', but also from'shop'versus'common'dating sites. And then you will find sites which have people from across the planet, versus people which have people mainly Escort in Lahore in one area or country. Another factor is whether to get having an recognized'high end'website that's widely advertised, or one which you have not noticed of. Lahore Escort

    ReplyDelete
  28. Only aspire to mention ones content can be as incredible. This clarity with your post is superb and that i may think you’re a guru for this issue. High-quality along with your concur permit me to to seize your current give to keep modified by using approaching blog post. Thanks a lot hundreds of along with you should go on the pleasurable get the job done. arab dating site

    ReplyDelete
  29. Literally, the best blog I have ever read. I feel bad, for not finding this blog sooner.
    sugar daddy dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  30. The information you have posted is very useful. The sites you have referred was good. Thanks for sharing this: dating in Asia

    ReplyDelete
  31. Maggie was advised that men who please solid toward the start of a relationship are regularly controlling and needing fondness, consideration or passionate help and that is the thing that happened in her relationship with Phil http://www.fidelitydating.com/his-secret-obsession-hero-instinct-review

    ReplyDelete
  32. Give him a chance to be his identity. In the event that his identity isn't adequate for you, discover a man who is. seksitreffit.cam

    ReplyDelete

  33. Excellent and very exciting site. Love to watch. Keep Rocking.
    Best App In London

    ReplyDelete
  34. This makes the pursuit a mess less demanding, gave that the data given by individual clients are right. swinger dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  35. Just admiring your work and wondering how you managed this blog so well. It’s so remarkable that I can't afford to not go through this valuable information whenever I surf the internet! text strangers chat

    ReplyDelete
  36. The manner in which your dates treat you and the open doors that come your direction are dictated by your frame of mind, vitality and your feeling of self. In many cases, it feels great to accuse others, yet you know instinctively that it isn't right.check my blog

    ReplyDelete
  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Descending daters will constant make inquiries that you can't reply in the manner they need. "For what reason are you truly intrigued by me" Duh, you're keen on them since you like them godatenow

    ReplyDelete
  39. Furthermore, then again, they'll anticipate that you should do a similar when it's your opportunity to talk. site

    ReplyDelete
  40. To begin with, dating definition has a general significance; it is a beginning of a sentimental connection between two people.https://www.adultdatingsites.review

    ReplyDelete
  41. Mature China Dating Site is all about two willing people and usually it does not really have emotional attachments. Cougar dating is more about having fun; the older women are looking for some fun and the younger men alike and so the dating is always a win for them both. There are so many reasons why younger men prefer dating older women and why older women also love dating younger men.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hey, if it doesn't work you can always revert back to crude gestures and perverse pick up lines. Or try your sweet pick up lines out on the next girl you see. eyes pick up lines

    ReplyDelete

Most popular ramblings!