Unfortunately I have grown out of it, I let go of a lot of my negativity and anger which gave way to sedation and boredom. Dull dull dull
So much to whinge about, so little will to do it, I seem
to have developed this thing where I see the better side of things, good side
of people, of shit, as a result I became what some would consider a wise person, I try to excuse
every prick that says something stupid, I don’t slap the slapables, I smile when annoyed now, I almost
made friends with a stingy
busy little bee God forbid, I say things like “it’s ok they’re just kids”,
or in other words I became a pushover and to overcome that problem I thought it's safer if I stopped
hanging out with people who would take advantage of my Buddha-like demeanour (whaaaat?)
and eventually I stopped going out altogether.
London has become a challenge to overcome, like a purgatory waiting to know where you'll end up heaven or hell, or maybe that's a bit dramatic!! Alright ....it feels like a groundhog day, repeating itself tirelessly waiting for
something to change to break the cycle. Taking the same train to the same job, working with the same insane boss, doing
the same workouts yet looking exactly the same even when I dye my hair orange
and think I dropped a couple of kilos, walking the same streets, hearing the
same natter between the same idiots who still to this day rave about the 70% Sales, about Big
Brother and XFactor.
So I take a different walk, try to do something new, see
if I can trip this groundhog day up, I decide to walk, I walk in the park, see so
many faces and I get the feeling that they’re all new here, I keep walking until
I find myself by a pond, I don’t know where I am but you always
know you’re in the royal borough when they’re throwing ciabatta at the ducks, so I don't roll my eyes and I just move on, I want to be around people who aren’t fooled by status and
possessions, I want my feet to take me somewhere I can meet someone interesting
and fun who stands for things and doesn’t run a mile when I open my mouth, who
looks beyond what is expected of us and dares to be different.
There’s no shame
in saying, I always felt it was ok to talk about this as long as I was writing anonymously
but pretty soon everyone else will
know who I am and it’s about time I took responsibility for Dz-Chick, maybe
Groundhod Day will soon be over…
Until then…still walking in the hope of stumbling on a different
path or waking up on a different day!
